OTB Caption Contest

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM


REUTERS/William Ismail

Winners will be announced after Tuesday PM.

FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, ,
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.


  1. OzarkHillbilly says:

    It’s not heavy, it’s my missile.

  2. OzarkHillbilly says:

    It wouldn’t fit in my pocket.

  3. OzarkHillbilly says:

    The new Ronco Penis Pump had a few side effects.

  4. OzarkHillbilly says:

    The new Rocket Condom ™ is guaranteed to please the ladies.

  5. OzarkHillbilly says:

    And no, you can’t get the new Rocket Condom ™ from a dispenser in truck stop restrooms.

  6. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Loading the missile only takes 5 seconds for me.

  7. gVOR08 says:

    Oh, it’s twue. It’s twue. It’s twue, it’s twue!

  8. Mu says:

    No, you put it in a bottle, then light it.

  9. Tony W says:

    No Irfan, I’m not buying your “rocket in my pocket” story. Very impressive. Now put that thing down before you get hurt.

  10. OzarkHillbilly says:

    He better watch out
    He better not cry
    He better not pout
    I’m telling you why
    Hillary is coming to town

    She’s making a list,
    And checking it twice;
    Gonna find out if he’s naughty or nice.
    Hillary is coming to town

    She saw him in ’08
    She knows when he donates
    She knows when he’s supported her
    Just like Vince Foster.

    She sees him when he’s sleeping
    She knows when he’s awake
    The NSA will work for her
    So it’s probably too late!

    The CIA will work very hard
    loading her drones with Hellfire
    Bill is really in trouble now
    No more sexual quagmires

    He better watch out
    He better not cry
    He better not pout
    I’m telling you why
    Hillary is coming to town
    Hillary is coming to town

    (sorry, this has been percolating ever since I heard about the ‘hit list’)

  11. MichaelHHamm says:

    Help me Achmed – my Donkey was unavailable today.

  12. grumpy realist says:

    I think it’s more than 44 pounds. You’ll have to pay overweight charges when you fly.

  13. C. Clavin says:

    F’ the NRA and their puny pistols…Ahmed’s got himself a “Well Regulated Militia” and they are exercising their right to bear arms.

  14. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @C. Clavin: Let’s just hope they don’t forget it in the trunk of a rental car.

  15. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @grumpy realist: No way is he going to get that in as carry-on!

  16. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @MichaelHHamm: Can I borrow your ass?

  17. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: Or better yet, “Hey Achmed, turn around I need to borrow your ass.”

  18. CSK says:

    Eat your heart out, Bob Dole.

  19. David in KC says:

    No, I’m not happy to see you, it is a missle in my pocket.

  20. rodney dill says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: or… I tied this to my ass and wrecked ‘im.

  21. al-Ameda says:

    “Who are you looking at?
    It’s our Second Amendment right.”

  22. Franklin says:

    You know what this place needs? More rubble!

  23. Franklin says:

    Is that a young Pete Townshend on the left?

  24. Fog says:

    “Are you through? We want to fire the thing already.”

  25. Fog says:

    “No, it’s not THAT kind of warhead!”

  26. Pinky says:

    Missile-catching requires quick hands and, above all, teamwork.

  27. CSK says:

    Sant-Al Claus misconstrued Achmed’s request for an Erector Set.

  28. rodney dill says:

    “Toldya you were gonna get it stuck Abdul.”

  29. roger says:

    We told you to buy the rocket AND the launcher.

  30. rodney dill says:

    The Syrian rebels reveal their newest weapon in the arsenal…. The Ovine 2000.

  31. Tillman says:

    Easier than holding up Khalid’s mother, that’s for sure.

  32. js4strings says:

    My Johnson is Bigger than yours!

  33. Franklin says:

    OK, guys, we need all hands on dick … DECK, sorry I mean all hands on DECK!

  34. He who must not be named says:

    At least he didn’t try to insert it into his rectum.

  35. He who must not be named says:


  36. He who must not be named says:

    Amir prepares to shoot his WAD (Weapon of Ass Destruction).

  37. He who must not be named says:

    Yeah, it’s a great trick but I can only do it once.

  38. He who must not be named says:

    Sometimes a phallic symbol is just a phallic symbol.

  39. He who must not be named says:

    Something about “vagina warriors” was lost in translation.

  40. He who must not be named says:

    I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot, uh, never mind.

  41. He who must not be named says:

    No, it’s not one of the pillars of wisdom.

  42. He who must not be named says:

    Having failed to get the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch as ordered, Hakeem hoped the Mystical Missile of Mosul would suffice.

  43. He who must not be named says:

    I will teach the infidels something about infidelity!

  44. He who must not be named says:

    Man without hat won’t shut up about the safety dance.

  45. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Franklin: I was trying to come up with something like that and just couldn’t do it. 🙂

  46. He who must not be named says:

    Isaac and his men developed the palpable emission (nocturnal) ignition sensor [PENIS] to launch rockets.

  47. jd says:

    If it lasts longer than four hours, call Dr. von Braun.

  48. Paul Hooson says:

    A rejected album cover by THE WHO

  49. Paul Hooson says:

    “Next year, Omar, we might be able to afford rocket launchers. For now, we just make missile flying noises with our mouths while we walk over to a target with these missiles, Ok?”

  50. Paul Hooson says:

    Even less effective than the SCUD missile, the SPUD missile.

  51. Paul Hooson says:

    “Missile Toe, anyone?”

  52. Pinky says:

    “Hey someone, quick! Call Russian security! Those guys were lying – there’s no three-man bobsled event!”

  53. Gollum says:

    @Paul Hooson
    Even less effective than the SCUD missile, the SPUD PUD missile.

  54. RockThisTown says:

    “How many Viagra did you take?”

  55. RockThisTown says:

    “Dr. NormalLove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Bomb”

  56. Franklin says:

    @OzarkHillbilly: I’m still not sure if I’m sorry I went that direction … I’m not typically a fan of dick jokes.

  57. Franklin says:

    … I’m not the man they think I am at home in Jordan
    Oh no no no, I’m the rocket man,
    burning out his fuse up here alone with friend(s) …

  58. He who must not be named says:

    @Franklin, do you think you planted that seed?

  59. David in KC says:

    Don’t you hate it when the caption contest has a pic like this and your mother is looking over your shoulder?

  60. CSK says:

    The latest in Syrian fire-fighting equipment proved reasonably effective, but a trifle unwieldy.

  61. John425 says:

    “C’mon guys, let’s throw it from the rooftop and see if it works!”

  62. He who must not be named says:

    It’s all fun and games until someone pulls one eye out.

  63. Simon H Gedney says:

    “Ismail! You take the back at the launch!”