TREES

Frank J has some interesting observations on trees:

Tom M. from Pyay, Myanmar asks:
If a tree falls in the woods and crushes some tree hugging hippies would they still like the tree’s so much?

Great question. I’ve often wanted to say to some tree huggers blabbing on about how great nature is, “I hate trees.”

Then when they ask, “How can you hate trees?”

I’d say, “A tree killed my father,” just to see their reactions.

Trees are dangerous creatures. Frequently they like to take others in their deaths, toppling on to man and woodland creature alike. They also are the only other creature than man to use fire to kill; there would never be forest fires if it weren’t for trees. And accidentally running off the road would not be such a hazard if it weren’t for all the unforgiving trees that constantly line them.

That’s why I hate trees, and I would like to think that God, in His infinite wisdom, would grant some sense to the hippy at the moment just before the tree hits him. Then his last thought would be, “Damn you, trees!” before the massive creature crushed his skull in its dying fury.

There is also a lot of non-tree material on the site.

FILED UNDER: Humor
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. John Lemon says:

    But here is the big question. If a tree fell on a hippie in the woods, would anybody still hear his anti-war protest even though the war is over for all intents and purposes?

    The answer my friend, is blowin’ in chill winds, the answer is blowin’ in chill winds.

    (And the answer is YES, since you can’t get these people to shut up for anything.)

  2. Nick says:

    I’m reminded of the Steven Wright deadpan bit:

    “I was walking through the woods the other day, and a tree fell down right in front of me…and I didn’t hear it.”

    Or, one of Jack Handey’s Deep Thoughts on SNL:

    “If trees could scream, would we really be so cavalier about chopping them down? We would if they screamed all the time for no apparent reason.”