WISE WORDS FROM E-MAIL

A recent message, in its entirety:

Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2004 06:05:08 -0500
From: ellithorpe@themail.com
*****************************
Hey baby wanna let me start rolled your elaine?Someday the rossie will be more. Don’t be so movable ariana plus maisha equals spring. Never have drunken sex with a brighter daryl. Don’t be so probable Hey baby wanna let me start approximates your noelle?albina looks like a visual dixie. I love you from the bottom of my freestanding magaret. providencia was not tilted your slack renate My kimberlee are senior. the melania said ‘ Stop stitching the cordell, ‘Let’s go behind the machelle. the roseline are closer. look at that, Someone is shake the hae, gilda plus don equals felisha. the maryanna is every. I love you from the bottom of my mnemonic judy. What if earlean saw a fewest vernell that was suffered a emmett?the commercial magdalen hates the edelmira. nearby the purple leland lies a minus karoline.

I’m not sure what it is they’re selling, but it certainly sounds interesting.

Truer words have never been penned than, “Never have drunken sex with a brighter daryl.” And I’m going to have to work, “I love you from the bottom of my mnemonic judy” into a conversation at some point, I really am.

FILED UNDER: Humor
James Joyner
About James Joyner
James Joyner is Professor and Department Head of Security Studies at Marine Corps University's Command and Staff College and a nonresident senior fellow at the Scowcroft Center for Strategy and Security at the Atlantic Council. He's a former Army officer and Desert Storm vet. Views expressed here are his own. Follow James on Twitter @DrJJoyner.

Comments

  1. rodney dill says:

    Never have drunken sex with a brighter daryl.

    the commercial magdalen hates the edelmira. nearby the purple leland lies a minus karoline.

    I think they’re trying to submit captions to your colorful monkey caption contest.

  2. mark says:

    I’ll use “I love you from the bottom of my freestanding magaret” at a singles bar tonight and let you know how I do.

  3. McGehee says:

    My margaret is built-in, so I wouldn’t be able to use that line. And somehow “I love you from the bottom of my built-in magaret” just doesn’t seem like it would have the same impact.

  4. Mark Hasty says:

    “Stitching the Cordell” would be a great name for an album. Hey, maybe spam serves some useful purpose after all!

  5. zygote says:

    Come on, it’s obvious that the best pickup line in there is, “Hey baby wanna let me start approximates your noelle?”
    If you’re looking for me I’ll be behind the machelle, or it might be the roseline…it’s closer.

  6. I’ll have to go with the mnemonic Judy.

  7. Steven says:

    I’m guessing that the product in question is LSD through the mail.