Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Winners will be announced Monday
If I had a Hammer
I’d Hammer Pelosie in the Morning
I’d Hammer Reid in the evening
All over this land . . . . .
“Thank you former speaker Pelosi. Now, to complete the ceremony, if you would just place your testicles here on the podium…”
At least he isn’t crying.
“You wanted to make fun of ME crying? OK, beeyatches. Let’s see who’s crying this time next week.”
“It’s time to move this chamber into the 21st century. And so, today we retire this gavel and replace it with a circular saw.”
“And Pelosi… your new pledge name will be… Flounder!”
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to . . .
Don Draper tries to stay sober. Doppelganger willing to give encouragement.
I may walk softly but I carry a big f–in stick.
As a House warming gift, Sarah Palin gave me her famous mallet to use rather than get stuck with the electric cattle prod Nancy used on her Democratic colleagues.
Bring me that Healthcare Bill; it’s now hammertime!
I’m gonna need a bigger hammer if I am to pound some sense into Congress.
Show of hands, please, if you think I can shatter Pelosi’s “perma-grin” with one deft blow.
This is the perfect tool for opening those giant sized cans of Instant Tan.
Of course I’m compensating! Why do you think I cry so much?
Equipped with a smokescreen gavel after a visit to Q, Agent Orange is ready for his next mission…
Oh and Shaw? It’s “Your secret Delta Tau name is Flounder”
Isildur, cast it into the fire!!!!!!
Ding, dong, the witch is dead.
That’ll leave an earmark
WTF – This ain’t quite as big as Pelosi’s hammer when she beat Obamacare down our throats.
“WTF – This ain’t quite as big as Pelosi’s hammer when she beat Obamacare down our throats.”
I’m always fascinated by the oral fixation of Republicans.
Boehner: “Why is the handle so sticky, Nancy?”
Boehner: “…and this is my new Attitude Adjustment Device for Democrats!”
Boehner: “Nancy and Steny–please be advised that the beatings will continue until morale improves.”
Please tell me the background music is from the Nutcracker Suite.
Strangely enough, this reminds me of Donkey Kong.
Bring me that can of Whoop-Ass.
John Boehner’s middle name wouldn’t happen to be Henry, now would it?
Somewhere, Tom DeLay is feeling just a tinge of jealousy.
Today we are going to begin playing a new game: Whack-a-Dole.
For my first official act I am retiring this symbolic gavel for symbolic pair of pruning shears.
Speaker Boehner struggles to keep his inner Donnie Donowitz from coming out.
Speaking of Isildur’s Bane, we are all fortunate that the eleventy-first Congress has disappeared as thoroughly as Bilbo Bagins.
I said, eh, oh, way to go Ohio…
(Darn, I meant to say Isildur’s Boehner above. Oh well.)
Would LeBron have taken his talents to South Beach if he knew the Speaker of the House for the 112th Congress would be from Ohio? I think not.
In response to the new Hammer Time, the sight of Barney Frank in parachute pants prancing sideways saying “You can’t touch this” whenever any federal progam was mentioned started to become just a little distracting.
New Speaker of the House vows to drive a wedge between the House and the American wallet.
Speaker Boehner, a lawful knight, was blasted by Mjollnir as he grasped it for the first time because, as we all know, Mjollnir is a neutral artifact, as are all true artifacts of governance.
***Speaker Boehner, a lawful knight, was blasted by Mjollnir as he grasped it for the first time because, as we all know, Mjollnir is a neutral artifact, as are all true artifacts of governance.*** Crap, I have misplaced my Deities & Demigods book:(
Chicks are going to talk to me now…
1) “Say hello to my little friend.”
2) “I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
3) “As the new Speaker of the House, I came here to do two things: chew bubble gum and kick ass…and I’m all out of bubble gum.”
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Caption Contest Winners
OTB Caption Contest Winners