Monday, May 15, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
An antispam company decided to close shop this week after its controversial techniques triggered a debilitating backlash from the spamming community. Blue Security’s BlueFrog service responded to spam sent to its customers with an automatic opt-outTime for the Monday OTB Caption Contest TM Outside Beltway – NOTE: My spam filter automatically deletes any TrackBacks that do not actually link and refer to this post. Those doing it manually should ensure they have linked the post before sending the TrackBack ping. I want to stand in Iran and
I want to stand in Iran and see a mushroom cloud in Israel this high.
“I Ordered A Crap Meter And It Stands About This High.”
Our warhead? It is about this… Wait! You have tricked me, you zionist pigdog!
“As A Young Boy I Used To Steal Urinal Cakes.”
“The Goats I Milked As A Youth Were Very Tall.”
“I Had A Dream That Many Planes Will Come And Destroy Me.”
“I Want To Meet Shaquille O’Neal And Get A Set Of Autographed Balls.”
“And Many Tall Women Don’t Think I’m Sponge Worthy.”
“I Have Watched Tom Cruise In War Of The Worlds, 47 Times.”
“I Am A Small Ass Hole In A Big World.”
At the annual Iranian “Ball” conference, keynote speaker President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad enthusiastically demonstrates the initial left arm position for his patented “swooping reach around” of Hugo Chavez.
“I’m serious. This is how big Barry Bonds’ head is now!”
“I Was Putting On Hair Spray When My Arm locked Up.”
BALCO has announced it’s new Director of Product Development. He promised that Barry Bonds will hit 1,856 home runs this season with their new Nuclear Ointment.
“And In My Dream The Man Was Very Tall, He Wore A Cowboy Hat And Called Me Pilgrim.”
The Machine Floated Above Me Before It Sucked All My Brains Out And That’s How I Got Into World Politics.”
The leader of the Bountiful Floret League believes the flowers will grow this tall after being fertilized with crushed American body parts. Scientists say that Miracle-GroÃ‚Â® actually works better.
“When I said ‘Jump!’ the UN groups said ‘How high?’ I said, ‘Ehhh, a little bit higher than this lovely floral arrangement, you Zionist pigs!'”
“Oh, Waiter … there’s a Jew in my soup!”
The infidel that got away? His list of sins was this big!
Yes I had a question for you Kof-err Secretary-General. When sanctions are imposed on the peaceful nation of Iran, can we get Sevan to run the program, because you know, the peaceful nation of Iran that wants nuclear power, knows how well that worked for Saddam and we want in on that action.
Yes I’ll admit I did it. I had beans last night.
The Orioles sign a new flame-throwing relief bitcher.
Questioned about his BAL (blood alcohol level), the President indicated he only drank “about this much” daily.
When they asked at the door, “Who let the Dog’s out, Who, Who?” I answered them, “I did”, was that wrong?
(slamming open palm on the table) I demand to know how my name got in Heidi Fleiss’s book next to Charlie Sheen! Especially with the nickname Scruffybeard!!
There is a reason why one should stay sober during the day. Prior entry would actually be.
The leader of the Bountiful Annuals League believes the flowers will grow this tall after being fertilized with crushed American body parts. Scientists say that Miracle-GroÃƒ?Ã‚Â® actually works better.
“Iran’s president, emboldened by the support of Muslim nations, said Saturday he was willing to hold talks over his nuclear program but not with countries that hold ‘bombs over our head.'”–Associated Press, May 13
You there, blink when I talk to you, damnit!
In response to the question Why do you REALLY hate America?, Ahmadinejad angrily replied: “Cause you have to be this tall to get on the best rides at Disney.”
Sensing the power of his 24 hour deodorant is beginning to wane, Ahmadinejad discreetly rubs his arm pit on the floral arrangement at the speakers’ podium.
“I am a very attractive man with excellent body hair amd my woman must be at least this tall to receive the gifts of my hirsute passion.”
At the meeting of the Beastly Armpit Legion, President Mahmoud demonstrated the floral fragrance approach, saying, “Not so stinky, yes?”
“The sign said “You must be this tall to nuke the Zionists” so I turned around and went home.”
You must be this tall to get on the Maniacal Despot ride.
Allah be praised, the last pitch Corey Patterson swung at was this far above the strike zone!
Oh sirs, Please introduce me as Mahmoud Rodham Ahmadinejad, recent polls show that use of a middle name will make me more palatable to Americans as well.
Ok. That was a dog head.
Now I’ll do a shadow bunny.
Ifn da Bushman dis me I’ll punk his a$$ fo’ shizzle!
I’m a little despot,
short and stout…
No I do NOT look like Yakov Smirnoff! To begin with, he’s about this much taller than I am!
Did you see it?? Did you see that little black plane flying over like this?? Where did that come from?? What was that? It sounded like an expl…..
1) And think, I was only this big when I had my first camel…
2) And then the bomb goes down from the sky into Israel like this, and…oh…oops.
3) Ooo! Ooo! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!…I need to potty
“Am I the only one sweating like a Jew next to a nuke here?”
“I think you have had it up to here with me and the time has come for Pat Robertson to call for my assassination.”
I despise America because of the humiliation I suffered when the secret ruling Jewish Hollywood cabal conspired to have the “It’s a Small World” ride breakdown for three hours of animatronic brainwashing. But it was later the same day, when the infidel whore Show White told me I had to be this tall to ride “Space Mountain”, that cemented my rage. I vowed to avenge my honor, and the honor of every Iranian who has waited longer than 30 minutes in line (even though the sign clearly stated that the wait was only 30 minutes from that point), only to be told they are too short to ride Ã¢ï¿½ï¿½ all while surrounded by dancing satanic American children appropriately dressed in the unclean costumes of pigs and dogs.
The Happiest Place on Earth…my Farsi spewing sphincter! Iran will bring America to it’s knees for the Western arrogance of their so-called thrill rides. Tomorrowland is a Western myth perpetuated by the Zionist & Crusader imperialists! Soon, the global Caliphate will rule every theme park on earth, and then, under the warm and perfect embrace of the Religion of Peace and it’s glorious and merciful Sharia law, Tomorrowland will not be permitted and forever wiped off the face of the Earth.
Pres Ahmadinejad: “So then Eva Longoria was thrown off the balacony and flew like this into the poo… Of course I’m talking about Desperate Housewifes… and she got out soaking wet … of course I’m going to make her my 4th wife when we conquer Amerikka because she’s just my height.”
reporter: “But she’s an infidel dog American!”
Pres Ahmadinejad: “Ah but Maxim has named her the #1 hottest woman in the world, and Allah always has exceptions for things like that.”
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