Thursday, September 21, 2006
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
While the two people sitting on the couch may look calm, they could be the next victims on what Bush calls “the war on terror.” For Bush, this means that he could kidnap these two people, take them to an undisclosed location, have them tortured, and forbid them access to lawyers and the courts.
Bush: “Some have said that there is no elephant in the room. But our resolve to defeat the elephant is undiminished.”
A GOP tribute to Fashion Week
The DNC frat loft reaches a new low in immaturity by stealing the home team’s mascot before the big game.
“How to make PeTA shit a brick.”
“Log Cabin Republicans unveil their new mascot.”
not unlike Andrew Sullivan
The problem isn’t painting them, the problem is house training them.
Me thinks someone has a wee bit to much time on their hands.
I’ll never forget this.
A former star in the Tarzan movies, Tai was now reduced to giving lap dances to Hollywood stars who wanted to mock the republicans.
If you think Hollywood is eccentric, try Bollywood.
This is just impractical. He paints the elephant to match the wallpaper (see the back wall on the right) which is likely to be changed. He should have painted it to match the brick which can last forever.
I got the idea from watching the new Pink Panther movie.
Why the NYT view of republicans just doesn’t match reality.
This morning I woke up and shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.
Just ignore him and he’ll go away.
What, no roller skates?
Loft apartment with view. Perfect for large pets.
1) The fact that it was painted the color of the wallpaper couldn’t hide the elphant in the corner, and at some point, Frank was going to have to discuss it.
2) Dude, if that thing craps on my carpet one more time…
“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” jumps the shark.
It’s still better than those d@mn plastic pink flamingos!
The ruined carpet was the least of their worries when Fred, unaware that the elephant was hard of hearing, commanded it to “Sit!”
“I know it’s ridiculous Martha, but I can’t help the feeling that we’re being watched!”
Animal Planet promotes its newest show: Queer Pachyderm for the Gay Guys.
Mad with power, Dr. Bob brought out his latest genetic experiment – the chameleon pachyderm!
The Republicans have created a new look to go with their unpopular old policies.
It is getting increasingly difficult for the Mainstream Media to not notice the Islamofacist elephant in the middle of the room, but somehow they still manage.
“Well it does on occasion smash a lamp or a table accidentally, but it has the most beautiful dung!”
“Exnay on the Umboday. He really doesn’t like that.”
“Damn, the circus ran away and joined me.”
Tai seized the opportunity he had been waiting for as Spain banished models from the runways for being too thin.
James and Kimberly have packed their trunks and are on the move.
“Hey Blanksy, nice paint job. Perhaps you’d like to join me in singing my favorite Led Zeppelin song — Trampled Underfoot.”
“This is not an elephant.” — Rene Magritte
These Angry Left talking points disguised as caption contest entries are just freakin’ hilarious, though, as noted previously, not for the reasons they imagine. They remind me of the Reverend Jesse Jackson hosting the faux game show “The Question is Moot” on Saturday Night Live back in 1984 (Orwellinan shudder). Incidentally, this isn’t a caption contest entry, just an observation.
(Charles Austin: I knda’ think the talking points disguised as caption contest entries add a new twist to the fun. So, here I go.)
Enraged that they can’t get married because the fundi Bush rethuglican regime wants to kill all homosexuals, Bob & Clay make a fabulous politcal statement via “art”: by tormenting an endangered species and clogging it’s pores with paint.
These Angry Left talking points disguised as caption contest entries are just freakin’ hilarious
Which is why they are left intact.
You say you’re friends with Weird Al.
And Carot Top thought he had an angle.
Dont ask, don’t tell.
What good is a photo id if this painted elephant tries to vote?
The Cal-Berkely Student Group People’s Liberation committee preapres to defeat the new border fence approved by the House yesterday by any means necessary. The use of a “red state” elephant was deemed hilariously ironic in a voice vote.
J.K. Rowling is going to be pissed when she discovers you’ve published the cover of the final Harry Potter book!
And should we have to engage in another correction regarding the proper terminology of a group of elephants; even though one elephant is a pachyderm, more than one elephant is a herd, not a pack.
Not even a weird syncretic amalgamation of candomble, voodoo, and East Asian mysticism could save the DNC this time.
Ce n’est pas un Ã©lÃ©phant. — RenÃ© Magritte
How to Stencil an Elephant 101
You will need …
1. one 30×40 foot stencil pattern tarp.
2. one penguin filled mine field
In his later Years, Dumbo did a few things he was not proud of
I don’t know Hakkim; It does make a statement, but I think I would have gone with the 50″ plasma myself…
Principal photography begins for the movie version of Ryan Sager’s latest book.
Proof of macroevolution was finally uncovered in Bangalore, India, when the first chameleon elephant was spotted.
Does this make me look fat?
And you were worrying about that 600 pound gorilla!
1. The patterned pachyderm artificial skin proved less than successful.
2. After years of experimentation it was decided to let the colorfast skin dye project lapse.
3. It was at this point all involved realized that an elephant just could not pull it off.
4. It was years before the administration realized why they failed to gain Canada’s support in Operation Iraqi Freedom.
“I’m just saying that when he takes a dump, you, Mr. Oh-It-Will-Be-So-Hilarious, will become Mr. Martha Stewart-On-Hands-And-Knees.”
Nature Imitates Art!
We really need to talk to your mother about her choice of gifts
…and the bartender turns to the elephant and says, ‘I think you’ve had enough!’
“I wonder of Al’s going to blame THIS on global warming too!”
“What To Do When You’re Out of Wrapping Paper and Need to Gift an Elephant.”
Drudge Breaking News:
Hatfields defeat McCoys with trojan elephant gimmick.
You should see the one that goes with his wife’s other purse.
Purplexed, the Terminator Model E-6000 couldn’t figure why everyone seemed to see him. Later, smaller models were much more successful.
Man #1: Nice elephant.
Man #2: What elephant?
Man #1: “That’s a hell of a sunburn, Adil.”
Man #2: “Yep. That’s the last time I let him fall asleep outside beneath the henna-covered awning.”
“That’s the last time I order something from Ebay without checking the seller’s feedback rating.”
The new face of the Republican Party gets mixed reviews.
The endangered Chameleophant. Someone should tell them it’s “survival of the fittest”, not fattest.
“Stay away from the brown acid.”
Lord Melchett: “Gray, I suspect, Majesty.”
Queen Elizabeth: “I think you’ll find it was orange, Lord Melchett.”
Lord Melchett: “Gray is more usual, ma’am.”
Queen Elizabeth: “Who’s queen?”
Lord Melchett: “As you say, Majesty, there were these magnificent orange elephants which were coming…”
1.) Looks like Senator Kennedy’s been drinking again…
2.) Unfortunately for the unsuspecting “pet” owners, “Operation Dumbo Droppings” was about to commence!
3.) “I am the god Ganesh! This wedding angers me. It will break up or all will die.”
4.) In the next few minutes, the perfect metaphor would be born when Jumbo let fly with a steaming pile of fully digested donkey remains…
5.) “Nice elephant, Steve, but don’t you think he clashes with the drapes just a tad?”
“I am not an animal! I am a …, a …, wait a minute…”
1. Anybody care to explain why we’re out of ink for the very large scale printer.
2. Well first, that is in no way dazzle camouflage of any sort. For another…
3. Nice proof of concept, but how are you going to apply it to a whale?
4. It’s going to take a tough anti-fungal to cure that condition.
India this week ordered a state government to stop transporting elephants to a special “health camp” after reports that they were being ill-treated.
Yet another Democrat trying to impersonate a Republican! Will they ever learn?
This is what happens when you hire your ex-wife as your interior decorator.
“Of course, we had to buy a larger vacuum cleaner.”
Marcia and Gregg Abernathy discussing their love of febreeze, now in 55 gallon drums.
Elephent goes on rampage trying to discuss the 500 lb gorilla in the room.
“Fair’s fair. Next week, we paint the donkey.”
‘Improved Cloning Procedure’, my ass!
“It’s a thoughtful present, Mom, but was the gift wrapping really neccessary?”
Tubby, the Elephant Ninja plots her next move…
Make a one-time donation