Monday, July 11, 2005
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
I should know better than to use a picture like this, but it was too good to pass up.
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
In Spain, the horn honks YOU.
‘Of course you know….this means war!’
Toro the proctologist demonstrates his technique.
For the rest of his life, every time he sat on the loo, Jose’ remembered the running of the bulls.
“..And the 2005 Darwin Award goes to..”
woo hoo woo hoo hoo
woo hoo woo hoo hoo
woo hoo woo hoo hoo
Wall Street responds to anti-globalization activists.
El Torrible darn near killed him.
Some Days You’re The Cue Stick
Some days, you’re the chalk….
Senate Republican bullies show Harry Ried whose ox will be gored in upcoming Supreme Court showdown.
While the economy is on the rise, personal accountability is at an all time low.
Manuel gets his Christmas goose a little early this year.
The explosive diarrhea that Juan had did have some artistic merits.
Some days you’re the cue stick.
Some days, you’re the chalk.
* Juan got the point.
* Juan’s new pants were a drafty bit of tailoring
* I love the way you used the corn in there for texture….
“After five rage-filled years, Gore finally wins one.”
“All the real cool bulls are wearing asshats” !
“Ole,,, Ole! O… OOH MY GOD My Ass HURTS”!
Get off my damn horn! [OK, whose idea was it to hold the Steer convention in San Franciso anyway…sheesh..]
Andrew Sullivan, seen here enjoying his recent vacation in Spain, commented that he was appalled that the detainees at Gitmo were “tortured” by being forced to be close to American servicewomen.
With baseball and softball gone, the IOC could now finally make room for the international fan-favorite, indoor bovine-human lawn jarts!
Bill Blaikie tries to seduce Keith Martin to the Dippers.
(Apologies to bewildered Yankee readers)
Vast Rightwing Conspiracy’s Penetrating Assault on Fundamental Gay Rights!
Crap! Now I’m going to be captioned on OTB
“Oh man! This feels great! I wish I had two assholes!”
“Oooooohhhhhhh . . . . ~~~~~~!”
“Now I know how Sir Roger Casement felt.”
“La RAZA Initiation Rite”
“Deeper! Deeper! Aooaaoooaaa ~~~~~~~!”
“Bull : Ass = EU : Europeans”
I don’t like this new enema. I’m gonna go back to coffee.
“Stuck on the horns of an enema.”
“Crouching Cavity, Hidden Horn”
“Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”
“Just relax! I haven’t even put the head in yet.”
“This is Bush’s fault!”
Socialize medicine got off to a rocky start in Madrid as the shortage of qualified proctologists forced people to look at more primitive, sometimes confusing folk remedies for the treatment of ailments. Someone forgot to tell Pedro to grind the bulls horn before using it as a suppository.
Michael Moore: “How come all the Jews managed to get out of the arena just before the bull was let out? Huh? Huh?”
“But most bulls are moderates.”
**Best Chuck Hern voice **
And Manuel jukes left and is running for the wall as Dynamite is coming up fast…
He lurches right to avoid the horns, and, one straight in the hole!!
Dynamite scores in the clinch!!
“Bulls have Second Amendment rights too!”
“Ow! Ow! Ow! I hope that horn is registered!”
“K.Y.! K.Y.! K.Y.!”
“Hey! Use a condom!”
“Me so hooooorny… Me love you loooong time.”
Man: Hey, I said “虎！虎！虎！,” not “Toro Toro Toro.”
Bull: Well, they DO call me Tiger Woods, ’cause I always get a hole in one.
[N.B. 虎 = ‘Tora’ = Tiger (Japanese) (Remember Pearl Harbour)]
“Didn’t I see you on ‘Oz’?”
“Let’s go to Canada and get married.”
Bull: “Hey! You told me you were a virgin!”
Where’s cornholio. I need T.P. for my bunghole.
PETA’s not going to happy about this.
Today, test run.
Tomorrow, real prostate check-up.
“How was I supposed to know she was your girlfriend?
But she did taste great!”
“If you think THIS hurts, just wait ’til you feel my big hard #*!@ shoved up your @$$&0^#.”
ooooooh! That’s going to leave a mark.
Why couldn’t I have just listened to mom and taken some exlax?
Itching? Burning? Irritation? Try Tucks medicated pads with witch hazel!
“No. No. Just a little bit to the left. To the right. Okay, okay. Up a bit. Aaaaaahhhhh. That’s the spot.”
“Look, Ma, no hands!”
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
RNC Chair Ken Mehlman enjoys his new position as Ambassador to Spain
“You do see your life flash before you. You do pray like you never have prayed before. You do instantly realize that if your prayers are answered, you’ll never need a laxative again.”
John Bull reacts to the International Olympic Committee decision awarding the 2012 Olympic Games to London. Mr. Bull was joined in celebration by the nearest Frenchman.
Well the matador may choose the Pig Tail; but I personally prefer a Matador when it comes to dressing up for special occasions.
Hmmmmmm…..and I thought I got HORNY occasionally !!!
Don’t commit this social Faus Pax. Use MentalFloss(c) to remove those unslightly remains from your horns.
Are those Bugle Boy pants you are wearing?
“My wife has objected to my rantings at certain times, ‘Take that! Big enough for you? Want more?’ and I’m thinking that she has a point.”
Hook ’em Horns!!
Doctor (with startled look on his face): Uh…yes, sir, may I help you?
Bull: Yeah doc. Could you remove this growth from the end of my horn?
Civil Libertarians harshly critisized the new TSA guidelines after scenes from the latest Cavity Search Techniques training film were posted on the internet.
The bovine equivalent of having a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth.
Raul and Widowmaker celebrate after the Massachusetts State Supreme Court expanded the State’s latest Domestic Partner law.
Ironically, even before this incident many people always believed Raul was full of bull.
“Try Bull Bollock Supplements!
(They make Viagra look like Aspirin)”
“OOO~~~OOO~~~OOO~~~W! I should have gone to Gitmo!”
“Hmmm… This isn’t that bad. At least I don’t have to listen to Christina Aguilerra.”
u guys have too much free time on your hands.
“Oh my darling Bull! You satisfy me in a way that “Sock” never could.”
There once was a man from Clare,
He dreamed of a horn up there.
He went off to Spain
To experience some pain,
By offering his asshole to share.
(A Limerick? Wonder why?)
[Re: “u guys have too much free time on your hands.”
– Hey, if I don’t win this damn competition, then my entire life will have been wasted.]
There once was a homo Jihadi,
An infidel-killing Baghdadi.
He went to Andalus,
To fill his caboose.
El Toro said, “Ole! Who’s you’re Daddy?”
Once there was a terror-whore.
He thought he was a Matador.
He forgot his espada,
Yelled, “Almost had ya!”
But El Toro became Picador.
[As if Spaniards would actually take care of terrorists. LOL]
This just in: The Government of Spain today announced the withdrawal of all Spanish troops from Pamplona after a vicious sneak attack by radical Taurean activists. American tourists, however, are welcome to stay in Pamplona, to regain control of the city, and assist with cleanup efforts.
“Mike Tyson writes Prison Memoirs”
“Scientists Create Clone From Minotaur DNA – Slight Anomalies.”
Carl had started a craze. Soon all of the bulls wanted hood ornaments.
“Spain’s Socialist Government Demonstrates Its Anit-Islamic-Terror Strategy: ‘Bend Over & Take It!'”
Ã¢Â€ÂœSpaniard Shows Frogs How To Surrender With Flare.Ã¢Â€Â
“Disneyland Introduces New Rides For ‘Gay Days'”
The Russian really sticks the landing in the new 2008 Olympic Gymnastics Pommel Bull event.
Preparation H drops the idea of using Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” in it ads, but decides to sponsor certain sporting events instead.
Bull: “Nice pants”
DRUDGEBREAKING: Spain announces manned flight to moon by years end. Spain’s first Toronaut demonstrates the launch vehicle they expect to use to reach the moon my the end of the year.
Drudge–Breaking: Katie Holmes severs relationship with Tom Cruise after seeing the Scientology initiation rites! ! !
Okay, okay! You win! “Islam” means “Peace.” “Islam means Peace.”
Even though having an idea is usually represented by a lightbulb over the head, Andrew Sullivan wanted something more appropriate.
Hey, I still have room for Brian O’Neill on the other horn!
Say hallo to my leeetle frien’
Hey, I still have room for Brian OÃ¢Â€Â™Neill on the other horn!
That’s good, fortunately most of Brian’s have been funny. I’m not exactly a good one to push moderation as I’ve been known to submit an extra caption or twelve on some caption contests.
SPANISH REDISCOVER ACIENT CURE FOR HEMOROIDS
Harder! Deeper! Faster! Wider Cirlces!!
“I’m once, twice, three times a lady.”
Mr/Ms Sock: “u have too much free time on your hands.”
T. Bomber Harris: “I still have room for Brian OÃ¢Â€Â™Neill on the other horn!” — Not bad, but I wouldn’t want to sit anywhere you’ve already been on a long, long ride. — “Wretched the couch!” as the Holy Quran has it.]
Johnny ‘mad dog’ Adair finds something to fill the void after his ‘spartan’ advances are turned rejected by micheal stone.
“Mad Dog” McGlinchy [In his dreams . . . ]
HEY BRIAN, how bout you reply to my email! by the way i think i shud win with my captions there.
“Eamonn DeValera Rediscovers His Castillian Roots”
“Once you go black, you never go back.”
[Your email is so sublime and abstruse that justice demands I give it the full benefit of my laser-like attention before I can respond with the respect and loving concern you deserve.]
“You promise I won’t get pregnant?”
“Whoa! Did my wife send you?”
“I know I deserve this, but I’m sorry! I’m sorry I voted for Kerry.”
“Rosie O’Donnell challenges Will & Grace”
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