Thursday, January 25, 2007
Time for Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Monday PM
Bush: Alright, how about two out of three?
Isn’t this a remake of a Sylvester Stallone movie?
The pinky tickling the palm was something Bill Clinton taught me, Mr. President.
Pelosi: Sorry Mr. President, I’d fully extend my arm except I’ve had so many facelifts that if I did it would pull my @ss out of my collar.
George, COUNT YOUR FINGERS!
I think I can take her if she doesn’t spit in my eye again.
If only these two fingers were my service sidearm…
“I’m so glad you like my Botox, Mr. President.”
“Uh, I said Buttocks.”
Bush: “Nancy, you can let go. I’m not going to touch you inappropriately.”
Pelosi: “Nice tie, Mr. Presider.”
“Over the GOP.”
Pelosi: Your hand, tonight. Your balls, tomorrow.
Bush inadvertently ‘brushes’ Pelosi’s chest and realizes with horror that they’re really just her kneecaps.
Bush (thinking): “I pledge allegience, to the hag, of the U-nited States of America. . . . Heh.”
“I’ve got him where I want him. Now if I can just reach this gavel…”
Bush: “Say, Nance, where’s Murtha? Oowwwww!”
Two years of arm wrestling is not going to be fun. Especially if she keeps cheating by using two hands.
Bush – “Meet me down at my ranch and we can do it the right way. Leg wrestle in the mud.”
Two hands is cheating.
You gotta cup the balls.
He said he’s got my nose, and I WANT IT BACK!
Quick, grab the gavel while I’ve got her distracted!
“Use your left, Mr. President, use your left!”
The Democrats Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Roe-bot goes up against the Republicans Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Rove-bot. I’m still putting my money on the Dodge.
George is fighting hard now since he’s already lost twice in this game of chop poker.
Meanwhile, John Kerry’s senate speech explaining his decision to not run for President in 2008 enters its 49th hour.
Speaker Pelosi inadvertently reveals the secret Masonic handshake to the world before the Preident’s State of the Union address.
“Ah, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said.”
“Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear, oh, oh, living on a prayer.”
To add insult to injury, Nancy used one of her old Balmer tricks to take the President’s watch as well.
Simultaneously, the President and the Speaker of the House think to themselves, “Is that all you’ve got?”
GW: Jiminy Christmas, Nancy, did you put your makeup on with a trowel?
NP: Yeah, and you’re still not using enough Grecian Formula.
NP: Mr. President, you’re drunk!
GW: Yes, and you’re extremely liberal. But tomorrow I’ll be sober.
Apologies to Winston Churchill.
Nancy, seriously, you do for me what Cheney here has done to that microphone stalk. Really, I mean it.
Texas cage match between “Bomb’em” Bush and “Blinkin'” Pelosi with the Rev as ref this Saturday … be there!
I had my hair done like Laura…do you like it hot stuff?
I wanted to shake hands, it wasn’t “an invitation to struggle”.
Leave the ‘S’ off my title one more time George and I’m coming over this desk to take you out.
Black, two sugars and try to keep out of the camera shot when we come back from commercial.
Damn girl, talk about smashing your face in the glass ceiling and then getting it distorted when you crash through.
Trust but verify. I’m counting the number of fingers when we’re through shaking.
Ha. You can’t count that high.
(I’ll leave it to your political persuasion to decide the speaking parts).
“Sweat heart? Nancy? Umm…Mrs. Pelosi? I-I-I mean Madame Speaker?? You’re hurting me.”
1) George (thinking): That is one BIG sh!t-eating grin she has on, she must of been practicing it all week.
2) George again: She’s looks more stoned than Al Gore did in our last debate in 2000. (Afterwards the proof found in her constant blinking).
3) And then the universe exploded as it always does when matter touches anti-matter.
4) Dubya showing off which side of the isle he’s from, the right.
George: It feels like I’m shaking hands with all of the children of America. Boy she was serious about that wasn’t she…..
Bush (thinking): “She wouldn’t be smiling if she knew where this hand was ten minutes ago. Heh heh.”
Nancy: Listen you little twerp, mess with me and you get nuttin’, do you hear me nuttin’.
Nancy: “Let’s get ready to r-r-rumble!”
Bush – “I bet you could take Cheney in one try. Careful though. He’ll be packing.”
George. So that PreperationH worked good for you huh? After that ass-whop…, er, first hundred hours of Congress.
Botox v. Detox.
Bush and the plastic turkey story just won’t die.
“Who’s your Baghdaddy now?”
“Goodness Nancy, the state of the onions you ate is strong.”
Bush: “Whadya say we rassle for that big white house on the hill”?
1) After 30 minutes of Bush mocking Nancy with taunts like, “So when are you actually gonna strong arm the administration chicky?” Pelosi got upset and was DQ’d for using a second hand.
2) Go ahead Georgy, touch it. Feel how cold that heart is.
3) Nancy Pelosi tries unsuccessfully to force George into a sexual harassment suit.
Dubya: Be careful, I have a wooden stake and I know how to use it.
“You like me, you really like me!”
“Well, it takes two hands to handle your whoppers Mr. President.”
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