Monday, February 26, 2007
Time for Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
Chinese Menu Discrimination Beltway Traffic Jam Greenspan Warns of Recession Case of the Missing Rodham Giuliani Has Uniquely Broad Based Political Appeal Al Gore Wins Oscar for Best ‘Documentary’ Caption Contest Sharpton, Thurmond May Be Closer Than You’d Think Obama’s Prescience on Iraq Some Generals May Quit if Bush Orders Iran Attack [IMG OTB Sports] Pavano hurt (what’s new?) and Abreu hurt Diversity in golf?
Well no, that’s not a trunk. It holds the 400 miles of extension cord….
Are you gonna git in the trunk, or does the Secret Service have to help you?
While it works, Mr. President, we’ve not figured out how to make the cord long enough.
Wow, you could fit 5 Scooter Libbys in this trunk!
As you see, once I drop the 15s in and get the windows tinted this baby will be quite the chickmobile.
No, Mr. President. Al Gore’s body won’t fit in the truck. After he won the Oscar, his head is about this big.
“But I was thinking we could put it in a lockbox …”
No sir, it only runs on DC not in DC
“Well technically yes… if we did hook those batteries up to the front seat it could give Speaker Pelosi quite a jolt.”
“Mr. President, your invention is … very, um, creative … but have you considered an electric car that runs on batteries?”
(Also, unsolicited caption-contest suggestion.)
Actually, sir, the extension cord doesn’t do anything. We just traded out the usual four-cyllinder for a lawn mower engine and stuck a “Hybrid” decal on the side.
Now I know a lot of democrat party people think I’m not to smart, but even I can see the problem with this here electric car.
The president made an offer to the reporter that he could not refuse.
Pssst – wanna buy some batteries? They fell off the truck this morning.
Bush: “Hey, you know, a lot of people think I’m dumb or sump’n, but even I know you can’t use a spare tire with corners on it.”
Bush: “So how’s it do off-road? Does it come with four-wheel drive?”
“And, Mr. President, this baby can go this far without recharging!”
You’ll just have to get the rear lights back from the kids.
Bush, you are a failure as a president and an embarassment as an American. If you and Dick immediately resign from office, we’ll give you this car as a consolation prize and you take it back to your Texas estate and drive around clearing “brush” and hunting quail.
“And you say they hauled Jimmy Hoffa off in a trunk this size?”
Well, Mr. President, a 12″ x 12″ sub woofer is about this big and costs around $200, but I wouldn’t recommend installing a sound system in a hybrid vehicle because they’re known to drain the battery. Quickly.
“Now, Mr. President, here’s a prototype of a real energy saver designed by one of our engineers with five kids. It goes 100 miles or so with each pull of the string.”
If you squish her like this, Laura will fit.
I don’t care how big the built-in TV is, when I proposed a $1.2 billion electric car initiative, I didn’t mean to spend it on just ONE.
“Ok now, you want me to go grab Condi and Tony and have the three of us dangle our legs from back here thrusting this car down the road while Cheney drives. Do you work for Clinton or Obama?”
Does the Pentagon know this is cheaper than “their” hammer?
Can you do better on the price if I trade-in the Executive Limo and Air-Force one?
Bush: “Hey, fella, it’s a clever idea but I just don’t think NASCAR’s gonna go for it.”
For the last time, Mr. President. I will NOT give you 50 bucks if you hide in there.
“Could Cheney and Ahmadinejad fit comfortably in here for a wrestling match?”
“Well, yes sir, the electricity this vehicle runs on is generated by a nuclear power plant, so I guess you could say it is a ‘nukular’ car.”
“Yes sir, we call this the 2007 Oscar. It is environmentally sensitive, in line with Al Gore’s Oscar-winning documentary; there’s plenty of room for The Departed, if you know what I mean; and only those rich enough to be a King of Scotland or a Queen of England can afford it.”
“I see all them batteries back there, so if one of Ol’ Slick Willie’s interns gets rear ended in there, it’s not going to go all Pinto on her ass is it?”
“My V-8 will still kick it’s ass any day.”
“Did I hear you right, I can use Dick Cheney’s pace maker to jump start this thing?”
….and we’ll throw in a yellow ‘President on Board‘ sign for the back window.
“Your telling me Tony Soprano could place Asama Bin Laden Back here?”
“Well, I’m an oil man, myself. But if you’ve got something that runs on hot air, boy, I sure do have folks supplying me with that all day long.”
Mr President, this is how Canada got out of the Middle East.
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