Thursday, March 8, 2007
Time for Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Monday PM
Captain America and all his power could not escape the reality that high salaries amongst the aging Super Hero’s during a time of economic uncertainty, well, someone has to go. He will be replaced by a lower salaried Captain Melting Pot.
“I served with Captain America. I knew Captain America. Captain America was a friend of mine. Imposter, you’re no Captain America.”
John Kerry finds a way to pay the bills.
Capitano “South” America…fighting crime that American Super Heros don’t want to.
Dead geek walking!
“the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”
“Hey, is DC hiring?”
Captain America strides toward his last marketing meeting with Marvel execs, for which he was forewarned to “pack a lunch.”
Having nothing better to do with his time now, Captain America prepares to announce his candidacy for the Democratic nomination in 2008.
The prominent “A” on his forehead made his transition to Atkins diet spokesman rather easy.
* Following the death of Captain America, the Capatin America Impersonators were second in popularity only to the Elvis imprsonators.
(Aside to Gollum: He’d never be nominated being that directly associated to the colors red, white, and blue, ya know?)
Scooter Libby, stripped of his roller blades, is looking to get back into the fast lane of life.
“You know how you smoke out a sniper? You send a guy out in the open and you see if he gets shot. They thought that one up at West Point.”
Actually it stands for *sshole, why do you ask?
I didn’t ask, but I could tell.
Gee, a sniper got him. Who could have saw that coming? Ever hear of camouflage?
Why don’t I wear my glove to carry the bag? Do you have any idea where this glove has been?
Some say that the Libby conviction has gone to special prosecutor Fitzgerald’s head.
If I can’t question his patriotism or manhood, can I least question his fashion sense?
I would wear a mask too if I let my mommy dress me this way and send me to school.
Hero, maybe. Super, not so much.
I tell you apartment buildings in New York just keep getting worse. Have you seen the new super?
Don’t get cocky Rodney, remember this guy is also Time magazine’s person of the year.
Super me looking for super you. Recently retired from my media career, I’m looking for that someone special to share my golden years with.
Now available for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings, make your next special event really super.
…and so are the two naked guys in the previous contest.
Captain America has thrown his little silk “A” thing into the presidential ring. “A” would be dead and elected to office, something not entirely unheard of.
Hey, you said it was a costume party!
“Bring out your dead!”
“Captain America is dead. Long live Captain America” cried Al Gore, the country’s self-proclaimed SuperHero, after purchasing the obsolete outfit on E-Bay.
Rodney Dill as Caption America
“Look, it’s Captain Anorexia!”
“You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard…you can do well. If you don’t, you end up like me, John Kerry, wearing this stupid Captain America costume because Howard Dean tells me to.”
It was no real surprise that his boots were “Dickies.”
The Invisible Woman later sued AFP for publishing her photo without consent.
“No, I CAN’T give you directions to the f*cking Hall of Justice.”
Paradoxically, the Captain both walks to school AND carries his lunch.
And if the troop surge dosen’t get results……..
“I threw my might shield — and it didn’t come back!”
“Will perform acts of heroism for food.”
…and this is your favorite comic book superhero on crack. Any questions?
Does kinda look like Ron Reagan
“Actually, that’s not a problem. Astronut Lisa Nowak told me where I could get this special diaper …”
1) Well you’ll never believe my next gig. I’m now a spokesman(!) for a world-wide product, but I’ll still have to wear a costume. You wanna know what it is? Trojan condoms.
2) It’s really the Injustice League, that’s why they did me in first.
3) Patrick Fitzgerald commenting on Captain America’s death. “When did Cheney know, who did he tell, and was Tim Russert wearing any pants when he was told?”
4) Captain America. I knew I should of moved to Gotham City at the end last season, or Metropolis.
With the death of Steve Rogers, ABC announces it’s new reality show, Becoming Captain America!
Captain America tries out for the “dancing with celebrities” TV show.
Richard Simmons attempts to cash in on the “dancing in your underwear” craze taking the country by storm.
Captain America misunderstood the concept of “American Idol” talent show.
Taking the motto “Love thy neighbor” to heart, Captain America fights crime with a butterfly purse!
The inspiration for Osama bin Laden’s strong horse/weak horse statement.
You can trust your car to the man who wears the star…
“Why yes, this bag does hold my testicles, how did you guess?”
“We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful.” — C.S. Lewis
Captain America! F*ck yeah!
Captain America, as assembled by committee, the Democratic National Committee.
Captain America — post atomic wedgie.
Captain America has a drinking problem and his car won’t start….so does that mean ‘A‘ needs ‘AA‘ and ‘AAA‘?
Having given himself three Purple Hearts, John Kerry decided it was time to give himself a belated promotion in rank.
Yes, yes. So I borrowed the “crotch stuffing” from President Bush. What of it!?
The costume Rove advised Bush not to wear for his infamous carrier landing.
As the guests of honor at the Fitzmas costume ball, Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame came as Captain America and Wonder Woman.
John Edwards criticizes Ann Coulter’s “faggot” remark as childish,immature and downright nasty!
Memo to self: Have zipper installed in next suit.
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