Thursday, April 5, 2007
Time for Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
brought to you by Rodney Dill — TIME MAGAZINE Person Of The Year — 2006
Winners will be announced Monday PM
Proof that with the right presentation any story can be turned into a horror story.
“Is this the only study material I need to prepare for the White House?”
Imagine that looking at you with lust in its eyes.
Hillary confesses what SHE was reading on 9/11/2001
Hillary was taken aback when the class didn’t want to hear Dr Seuss, but rather how she planned to eliminate the deficit, lower unemployment, correct the health system and increase recess time.
“See? There’s a vast Blue Dog Conspiracy too.”
Hillary on a recent campaign stopshows the audience how she could win the Global War On Terror.
(Ooops, I forgot I’m not supposed to say THAT phrase)
Hillary shows off her proposed foreign policy manual: “Oh! The Places You’ll Come Back From!”
Hillary Clinton reprises the President’s classic performance of My Pet Goat.
GENTLEMEN, I HAVE HERE MY PLANS FOR OUR NEW AIR DEFENCE SYSTEM.
But it will be hard.
Yes, it will be hard
and the places you’re sent to
will seem very far.
But do not despair.
Keep your chin in the air!
And the Democrats will soon
bring you home from back there!
With pomp and great fanfare
we’ll have a parade!
We’ll make some warm brownies
and drink cool lemonade!
Then the terrorists will see
that we mean them no ill
and they’ll leave us alone
yes they will, yes they will.
Hillary lays the groundwork for Chelsea’s 2024 bid for the presidency.
(Matt beat me to it, but:)
Yesterday, Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton demonstrated that she is just as prepared to respond to a 9/11-type attack as was President Bush.
“And in *my* village … “
The shorter the length of the Senator’s brief is,
The greater the sigh of the reader’s relief is.
The depth of insertion of the rod could not be determined, but all agreed it did indeed keep her back very straight.
Look at the eyes. Don’t they remind you of ET?
‘…and the good donkey led the evil elephants off to the land of Exile.”
‘So children, what is blue and has a long trunk… that’s right. A blue elephant, also known as a RINO. When I am president these shall be the only republicans allowed to live.”
Hillary’s story time with the children was cut short when a child spilled water on her and she started to melt.
I think Hillary is being just a bit condescending to Bill’s new personal assistant when she offered to discuss fine literature with her.
Would you give $26 million to this woman to be president?
Hillary presented documentary proof that the vast right wing conspiracy also had two chained elephants as part of keeping the wing from flying away.
“And then the big bad gray wolf decided to make nice with the rich handsome dark wolf because the ticket needed a VP.”
Come on kids, is Dr. Seuss better than “My Pet Goat”? You know he is! Say it with me!
First, she read to the kids, winning their hearts and minds. Second, she stole their lunch money. Third and last, she announced the amount of money she stole…errr…raised for her campaign.
Sorry Hillary, being able to read is not the only qualification to be president.
1) Hillary! got a little to graphic with the kids when she said “Red Sock, Blue Sock, why oh why couldn’t my husband of worn a sock with that b’yatch?!?!”
2) Hillary is a loss for words when asked the question, “Do you like Green Eggs and Ham?”, knowing she just pocketed $1 million from CAIR.
3) Hillary!’s version of SDI.
4) Hillary’s nightly reading before bed.
Would you leave Bill with a fox?
Or with Lewinski, who sucks …..
I was NOT the inspiration for the Wicked Witch of the West!
Hillary exhibits her latest published work: “Affordable National Healthcare and other fairy tales”
“It Takes a Village of Sycophants.”
Hill-ton Hatches a Plot.
My Pet Vote.
Hillary threatened to disrobe and show the class her “green eggs and ham” if they didn’t pay attention.
“Can anybody say Clinton Dynasty? Huh?”
Hillary gives 6 year old Timmy the evil eye when he asked if she liked to read to her husband’s young friend too.
Another liberal subverting the country through literacy training
“Well isn’t that Spe-Ci-al?” (SNL’s Church Lady’s voice)
“Whoreton hears a who??”
and the blue elephants walked away with the cigar…er ahem he he I mean….
Hillary paused only a moment when Jason asked if she wears boxers or briefs.
The answer, of course, was boxers.
Hillary reading “and she said, ‘I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and blow your Co…'” and trailed off embaressed, remembering quite a different story.
“Hillary confesses what SHE was reading on 9/11/2001”
What? “My Pet Goetse?”
Hillary is beside herself, beaming “I am smarter than a fifth grader”. However, the 12th grade high school class she was reading to didn’t agree.
“Hello, I’m the Church Lady. It seems that nobody bothered to read the book for today’s lesson. How convenient!”
“I am the Gore-axe, I speak for the trees.”
And the more times she heard the new Senator sing
The more that she thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for twenty-three weeks I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop Barack from coming!
Listen up kids, before the real Hillary bitch slaps you.
They can have my three-handled, moss-covered family credenza when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Hillary gets in the Silly Season spirit.
Mrs Bill Clinton realizes the children are laughing at her legs.
“Excuse me, Miss Ann-Potty-Mouth-Coulter. This big fat old ugly lesbo just heard you. “
“I’ll get you my pretties, and your little blue dogs too!”
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