Caption Contest

Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM

Probably a predictable selection for over the weekend

paris4president

(AP Photo/Funny or Die Inc.)

Winners will be announced Monday PM

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FILED UNDER: Contests
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.

Comments

  1. markm says:

    Paris: “Like, the other day I was totally into like a hybrid solution to our energy problem where we drill in safe places where there is no oil while spending totally huge amounts of money on “green” stuff. I think i’m still for that…wha-EVERRRR. Today, i’d like to talk about under inflated breasts…”

  2. markm says:

    Paris: “Hi, i’m like Paris Hilton and today i’d like to tell you how to get your hard earned money to work for you.”

  3. Paul Barnes says:

    That’s hot (because it burns when I pee).

  4. Bithead says:

    * That’s why I’m joining Bill Clinton’s call for Monogamy!

    * We’ll have dinner at sex…Uh SIX!! SIX!!!

    * If this tell you she has a headache you’re REALLY in trouble

    * Barack, you didn’t hire her as a consultant, did you?

    * The only advantage she has is that everyone lies about how great it was.

    * Sex…sex sex sex…where were we?

  5. elliot says:

    No, sooo how you doin?

  6. elliot says:

    Fer sure. I am going to run for Vice president.

  7. Hodink says:

    “I’m for McCain on Monday Wednesday and Friday. I advance the military, leave no child behind, brand my own justice and promote triple witching days.

    I’m for Obama on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I reduce poverty and injustice, promote international cooperation, advance human achievement and get an abortion.”

    Today is Sunday, my day of faith-based initiatives.”

  8. Joe Buzz says:

    “Dearest Voter,
    Many of you are already aware of my positions on the ..um issues. Yes, I have been seen to change positions but I dont consider this like flopping. Let it be known that like I have been told that I can do quite well at the polls.”

  9. While the bathing suit looks nice Paris, I don’t think the term ‘off shore drilling’ means what you think it means.

    Why would people listen to someone with so little real world experience, such a thin resume of accomplishments, whose only talents seems to be publicity seeking and self promotion. And don’t even get me started on Paris.

    Come and see the racism inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed! Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn’t you?

  10. John425 says:

    “I’m Paris Hilton and I know several positions. I mean I HAVE positions…”

    “Hello. I’m Paris Hilton and today I’m wearing my “Get Out The Vote” dress from my new Fall collection.”

    “How do you do. I’m Paris Hilton, standing in for Keith Olbermann…”

  11. physics geek says:

    “Hi, I’m Paris Hilton and I’m here to talk something I’m well aquainted with: VD.”

    “You must be this big (spreads hands wide apart) to ride this ride.”

    “While my only qualifications are one that you’d find in an adult film star, I’m firm in my positions. Or maybe I like firm positions? I dunno, but I’m really a fan of firm.”

    “Sure, I’ve got the intellectual capacity of Cabbage Patch doll and the sex appeal of a $10 hooker, but the size of my trust fund means that you should listen to me.”

    “You will notice that I’m in favor of proper inflation. Just look at my breasts!”

    “So let me be clear: Drill now. Drill deeper. Drill harder. Drill fasterfasterfasterfasterohgodohgodohOHGOD!!!!…
    I’m Paris Hilton and I approved this message. I’m going to approve it again as soon as I catch my breath.”

  12. Bithead says:

    * Me? I’m voting for Kermit. He’s the GREEN candidate. Right?

    * Sign on the wall, just out of frame to the left: “Days since last Scandal: 0”

    * She was well known for her wildly varied positions on each of the candidates. “Yes, I’m politically active”, she whispered tartly.

  13. Wyatt Earp says:

    New evidence shows the culprit in the pool chair herpes pandemic.

  14. Wyatt Earp says:

    “By the time you see this, my boyfriend will already have the clap.”

  15. William d'Inger says:

    As you can plainly see, the other chairs are filled with Paris’ profoundest thoughts.

  16. Floyd says:

    What will Popeye say when he sees me dressed like this??

  17. Floyd says:

    Is a little “Olive Oyl” good for a tan?

  18. Cowboy Blob says:

    My policy on drilling? Stock up on Valtrex!

  19. John425 says:

    Hi, this is Paris. MoveOn.org has just put me in charge of air quality and that’s why I am the proud leader of “Airheads for Obama”.

  20. Americans everywhere struggled to understand the difference between Libertarians and the newly-formed Libertine Party.

  21. ann on a mouse says:

    HELP..i can’t get out of this STUPID lounger because the heel of this STUPID shoe is stuck in the STUPID crack!!

  22. markm says:

    “So, like, speaking of offshore drilling, does anybody else totally smell Astro Glyde?”

  23. DaveD says:

    Drill here.

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  28. brainy435 says:

    Damnit, who keeps photoshoping bottoms on me!?!?!?

  29. markm says:

    Paris: “Heh…pool shoes…rymes with iodine bath”

  30. […] Rodney thinks its time to clean the gene pool. […]

  31. markm says:

    Paris: “In lieu of recent events uncovered by our steadfast journalists in the media, I would like to go on record and say I do NOT support John Edwards drilling plans”

  32. Elmo says:

    I’m Paris Hilton. And you’re not.

    Just when you thought it was safe to turn da innernets back on …..

    John Edwards isn’t the father of my baby. The old wrinkled white guy is!

    Just say no to celebutantes.

    I’m Paris Hilton …. and I aprroved this muhsahwz.

    Now in smellovision!

  33. Kenny says:

    “Potentially bad tanlines or not, I’m going in someone’s cabinet. The scriptwriters told me that’s hot.”

  34. Rachel Edith says:

    “For Vice President? Well, Johnny McCain is reviewing my credentials.

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