Thursday, September 29, 2005
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
As the owners, players union, and congress debate what should be done about steroid use, evidence continued to pile up that a problem does exist.
We found this amazing picture of Johnny Damon before his haircut!
Texas Democratic prosecuter Earle, throwing the rolled up indictment at Tom DeLay.
I warned Bush he needed to tighten the borders,but would he listen?
The latest Bush Supreme Court Nominee was chosen, according to white house sources, to break the traditional buttoned up image of conservatives, in hopes that he would appear more acceptable to liberal Senators.
The Sox were concerned early on, about playing the Sasquach team at their home park in British Columbia.
Even the FBI felt deep down inside that their new witness protection program needed more fine tuning.
The funny thing is that my father had male pattern baldness.
At least the batter can’t see me sweating.
After 40 years in the bullpen, the Yankees finally call upon their master spitz-ball pitcher.
Being Strong on defense and empathetic to minorities made him a tough candidate but his ability to not look like a dork playing sports made him the best Democratic Presidential Candidate in years.
Filming has started on the latest Star Wars movie, Empire Strikes Out.
In an attempt to show more racial diversity, Boston changes the image of Wally the GREEN Monster.
Who knew Johnny Damon could pitch?
Hoping to portray a new youthful image for a run in 2008, Al Gore started using Minoxidil. But once again he proved himself a total LOSER when he spilled the full bottle all over his body.
Finally, proof that there is a language barrier with the Latin American players and the steroid problem in baseball. This time, Sidney Ponson of the Baltimore Orioles mistook Rogaine for Dianabol.
Balco’s latest products had some unusual side-effects, but didn’t show up on a drug screen.
“Let the Wookie pitch.”
* Nobody minded when the Sasquach had his own bus written into his contract. “The smell, ya know…” said one player, who asked not to be named. “Anyone could have body odor, but this guy could knock flies off skunk roadkill.”
* Wait until you meet our new catcher!
*At least we’ve got him THROWING the ball, now. A few hours ago, he was EATING the things.
* Theimporting of the game of Baseball to the planet of Wookazie, did present a basic problem; Wookies, not having adopted clothing, had no concept of uniforms. This made for some rather interesting problems during the game.
Post game interview
Reporter: How did your arm feel tonight
Wookiee: Rahhhh Urr Arrhhhh
Remember, if you don’t strike out….the wookie tears your arms off.
Alas, the 200mph fastball killed the catcher.
Janet Reno was finally able to fulfill her life-long dream of being a pitcher for the Mudhens.
Affleck reveals “Damon in the rough” will star in Boston revival of the Clifford Odet classic “Waiting for Lefty.”
“Will somebody get this giant pitching carpet out of my way?”
A high, inside fur ball.
ATTENTION: Now pitching for the Boston Red Sox: Lucianne Goldberg!
ATTENTION: Now pitching for the Boston Red Sox: Lucianne Goldberg!
Promoting the DVD release of Robots, Robin Williams throws out the ceremonial first pitch at Fenway Park.
At least he isn’t throwing the furball he coughed up a minute ago.
Better a Wookie than an ewok.
Now that the Star Wars saga is over, Chewie has a new job.
Instead of munching on sunflower seeds in the dugout like his teammates, Chewie preferred Purina Dog Chow.
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a leftie with a curveball, kid.
“NO! I said brink the ROOKIE pitcher!”
(Not the Wookie Pitcher)
That is… “BRING IN” the rookie pitcher.
Balk on LJD
The team was a bit conflicted with their new pitcher. On the one hand his dominating presence and 112 MPH fast ball was a welcome addition to a team struggling late in the season. On the other hand, the drain in the team showers seemed to be continually plugged. Finally management decided if he can pass the drug test, they would put him into the rotation.
One of the rare examples of someone who doesn’t shave under their arms NOT being French.
President Hillary Clinton throws the first ball at the World Series.
As Fall approached, players donned their Wookie Road Uniforms.
Someone taught the camels from last week’s contest how to play ball!
New Sprint commercial: I asked for the Cookie monster, they sent me a Wookie pitcher.
David Wells looks like he’s dropped a few pounds.
Gaylord Furry rode his sinking furball all the way to Cooperstown.
Chewbacca would have been a cinch for Wookie of the Year if the league hadn’t taken exception to what it referred to as “his shameless promotion of smokeless tobacco.”
Rafael Palmiero continues to deny taking massive doses of steroids or Minoxidil as he tries to resurrect his career as a pitcher in AA ball.
No matter where you play, it’s still sixty feet six inches to home, ninety feet to first, and a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Even George Lucas has resorted to bad baseball metaphors:
Star Wars VII – Wookie Strikes Out
Star Wars VIII – Bang the Sith Slowly
Star Wars IX – For Love of the Cash
“I could have sworn the agent said he chews tobacco!”
With all that fur, it was a foregone conclusion that his belly itched, but no one from the opposing team’s bench dared to taunt him!
OR, just simply…
“Wookiee of the Year!”
Presenting: The 2005 American League Sy Sperling Award Winner!
Found alive and well after being stranded for 25 years on a deserted island, Al Hrabosky (formerly “The Mad Hungarian”, now “The Wookie of St. Louie”) gets a chance to show the Cards that he still has good stuff.
Dateline, October 7th, 2006
“And yes fans are still disappointed with MLB Union not signing a contract extension. But the replacement players brought in from Hollywood has proved to very entertaining for many of the crowd, bringing in sellout crowds to all of the end-of-season games.
So yes folks, there will be a World Series this year of the Walkout, between the George Lucas ILM and Creature Shop team of ‘Furs and Lasers'(TM) and the Dreamwork’s Shrek4 teams.
And that’s all from Los Angeles Angels of Anahiem field.”
His penchant for baseball made him throw that first pitch. But the polls showed he was president non grata. Only Laura and the Secret Service knew he was there.
The pitch, a laughitup fuzzball, yielded the only solo homer of the evening.
So your saying that he will ballence the ball on the tip of his harry finger untill you say GuBoy, wow.
* And when Bob Geldoff took to the mound, the spirits of the home team sank.
* John could never figure out why when he came out of the dugout, the annoucer always played this one old Cowsills record…
* The Feminist leauge’s first pitch.
* …He’s the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent….
* I know, but even after a few drinks, she doesn’t look any better at all…
* They say at his wedding, “Groom” was a VERB, not a NOUN.
* You remember the 60’s? He’s still working on the hair he started then.
* Good thing he’s a great pitcher. At home, he keeps scaring the crap outta the dog catcher.
* When he throws a splitter, it arrives in two peices
* Things started getting out of hand when he started pitching hairballs.
* While playing for the farm team in Oklahoma, he once got into an argument with a news reporter who called him the furry with a fringe on top.
* May the fur be with you
Ohmigod, it’s Sid Finch and his 140 mph fastball!
Last year, the Red Sox broke the fabled curse of the Bambino and won the World Series, but only after coming back from a 3-1 deficit to the Yankees to win the AL pennant. In the Star Wars movies, the wookie Chewbacca was a pal of Han Solo, who was played by Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford also played Indiana Jones, who found the Ark of the Covenant but then lost it somewhere in a government warehouse. Remember that an army that marches with the Ark of the Covenant before it is invincible. And now, Chewbacca appears in Fenway with the word “ARK” above his head. Coincidence? Dan Brown and I think not!
Chewie didn’t mind putting in celebrity appearances at Fenway, but he resented being made the focus of yet another caption contest.
The fur flew at Fenway today, as another heat seeker takes out a Blue Jay Mascot.
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