Thursday, August 6, 2009
Time for the Thursday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Monday PM
But you didn’t answer my question …
The not-so-hot bimbo sings “Happy Birthday” to not-so-hot President Obama, whose poll numbers are dropping faster than Helen’s jowls.
Obama: “now…uh….Helen….this is…uh…an OBAMA photo-op. Quit…um….hunching over and smile….”
Obama, thinking: If I can just squeeze her hard enough, perhaps I can wrench the last remaining breaths from her body.
Helen: “I’ve got a pre-existing condition of arthritis in this hand…will I be covered under Obamacare?”
Obama: “it depends on the cost/benefit equasion…now STFU and smile.”
“No, Mr. President, I will NOT sing for you.”
“I knew John Kennedy, and you’re no John Kennedy, President Obama.”
Obama and his “happy pills to keep from paying for old sick peoples health care” poster child.
“I knew Bill Clinton, and you’re no Bill Clinton, President Obama.”
Helen: Is that a Winston in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Get your arm off me or I’ll knock your block off, punk!
Obamatep sucks the life out of another opener of the chest to consummate the curse….
Obama thought bubble:Cupcakes and pie, it’s good to be the king……
Obama:So Helen how does the tittle of “happy pill czar” sound to you?
Helen:Ya Berry the cupcakes are good, but if you call me Anck Su Namun one more time and try to smooch me again I’m gonna sock you in the puss!
Obama thought bubble: Geez, I am President for Heaven sakes, and this is all I can get.
“Let’s see… JFK had Marilyn Monroe, Bill Clinton had Monica Lewinsky and I get Helen Thomas. It seems the further left you go, the women get less hot.”
NOW PLAYING: Weekend at Bammy’s
“I just hope she doesn’t Sing Happy birthday Mr. President. I’d hate to throw up that fancy cake they made for me.”
Well, now that we are on the subject, I can think of one way for you to get a bigger stimulus check.
Sitting with all his remaining supporters, Obama ignored the empty seats.
Helen praised the president’s economic work, especially the CCC camps.
Love … and alzheimers … means never having to say your sorry for who got elected.
Despite her frailties, Helen continued to try and knock some sense into Obama.
Chris Mathews was reported to be very jealous and said “The thrill has gone from my leg.”
“I didn’t say you could sit next to me Mr. Bush.”
“You had me at ‘Hello.'”
“I am smiling.”
President Obama: “Why so serious?”
“How would you like a knuckle sandwich to go with that you little … who are you again?”
Helen: “Mister President…the photographer forgot to load the magnesium flash powder into the flash lamp…the picture will turn out dark!”
“Wow Nancy, you do look different without Botox.”
I knew George Washington. George Washington was a friend of mine. Believe me, kid, you’re no George Washington.
America’s man-of-steel Barack Obama displaying yet another of his super powers as he withstands the ferocious pinch of world champion purple-nurpler Helen Thomas.
I asked for PUDDING! In know pudding Mr. President and this is not pudding!
President Obama interviews 19 year old product of Canada’s Socialized healthcare system.
Personally, I like Rodney’s…………but
“Now don’t you worry about a thing, Helen, I promise I’ll personally make sure you get the the right treatment options counselor.”
Don’t you dare use me as a prop.
So… If I make nice, I won’t get a visit from any “End of Life” counselers?
You bet Helen, I’m as sure of that as I am the Health care bill won’t raise the deficit!
“She’s mine. I bought her as a toy for Bo”.
Helen: “PSSSST…Barack, I think we are surrounded by astroturfers with swastika’s getting ready to astroturf our photo-op…”
Helen: “Damn right I was born in 1894. Barack, where were you born?”
Helen: “Look at that radio Mister President, you can see our picture”
He fist bumped her after the photo and wound up in a cast for three weeks.
Mrs. Thomas could not understand why the little black boy was not disturbed when she took his nose; then she realized the tip of her thumb was white, which gave away the trick.
Smeagol (Gollum): Because it’s my birthday, and I wants it.
Smeagol: We swears to serve the master of the precious. We will swear on… on… the precious!
President Obama thanks Helen Thomas for resisting the urge to jump out of his cake naked.
Where da white wimmen?
You remind me of my aunt Zeituni, the way you both stand on the street corner and yell at passing cars.
I knew Imhotep . Imhotep was a friend of mine. Believe me, kid, you’re no Imhotep.
Helen! Your ship just came in…..
Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey were both busy on other projects, but the casting department scored a major coup for the newest Dumb & Dumber sequel.
How come your halo is still up there behind the podium?
Your wife was right -your breath is stinky.
If I support your Obamacare, will you promise I’ll get my own choice of consultant?
So you want me to go to a townhall meeting and pretend I like Obamacare?
If I support Obamacare will I get my own Gulfstream jet like Pelosi?
You want me to be your offical food taster? At my age, I’m afraid I’m the one who needs a taster.
I was at that Chappaquiddic party too and I told that young whippersnapper, Teddy, to keep his paws to himself.
Obama: Helen, I would like to give you the opportunity to be my Monica Lewinski. Are you going to blow it?
Obama – “Thanks Michelle, this is the third amazing human being you have given me. Uh, I think you should have quit at two.”
The Near-Beer Summit
First it was “the war on terror.” Now Obama is redefining the meaning of “cupcake”.
Gibbs, off-stage: “Who the hell told the President to grab the cupcakes?”
“I don’t care if you are the president, if you don’t give me back my food, I’m gonna stick you with this pin!”
“How would you like to be the first client in DHHS’ End of Life Counseling Program?”
Obama has taken over for the retiring Whelan of “Whelan and Madame” fame.
The other guys get beer, and I get cake?
Talent scout/Ringling Brothers: You can quit smiling now Mr. Obama, you got the job.
Posted by Drew | August 6, 2009 | 12:22 pm |
I kin gibbem a vote too 🙂
when you said tea for two Barry, I thawt we wuzz gunna puff some reefer?
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