CLINTON READY
The Onion reports that, “Five years after the Monica Lewinsky scandal, former president Bill Clinton announced Tuesday that, at long last, he is emotionally ready . . .”
. . . to start receiving blow jobs again. “It has been a long, difficult road, but I am finally at a point in my life where I can receive oral sex from a woman again,” Clinton told reporters. “After many years of soul-searching and intensive therapy, I am now able to enjoy getting blown without all that painful emotional baggage overshadowing what should be a wonderful experience.”
