Herman Cain Releases Bizarre New Video Involving Apparent Goldfish Murder

Herman Cain says no animals were harmed in the making of this video, but that still doesn’t explain this thing:

Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.


  1. Gold Star for Robot Boy says:

    This man actually led in polls.

  2. Eric says:

  3. michael reynolds says:

    I miss him so much.

  4. Imagine there’s no goldfish…….

  5. DRS says:

    Is that kid stoned?

  6. anjin-san says:

    Yet another sideshow freak in the GOP circus. Maybe Cain can dust Levi Johnston off and bring him out for his next message.

  7. Tsar Nicholas says:

    Are Godfather’s pizzas laced with LSD??

  8. Ernieyeball says:

    Murder(?) of a goldfish? I thought that was reserved for the premeditated killing of one human by another.
    Maybe you should be a lawyer for PETA!

  9. Burt Likko says:

    Yes, little girl, it turns out I actually do have some questions. Let’s begin.

    1. What the hell were these people smoking?

  10. Ernieyeball says:

    Is that kid stoned?

    Maybe not. But I’ll bet she shows up to Girl Scout Troop meetings.

  11. Neil Hudelson says:

    First: I don’t think Cain understands what “harming” animals means… “Naw, we just suffocated it for awhile. Probably multiple times to get the right shots.”

    “Yes, we broke that dogs legs to make a point, but we put them in a cast afterwards, so no harm was done.”

    Second; WT Holy F?

  12. Franklin says:

    So they really couldn’t find a kid that knows how to pronounce words? My 3-year-old talks better than this.

  13. Ernieyeball says:

    Fish are not animals. The 1988 movie The Bear displayed the standard disclaimer that “No animals were harmed filming this movie.”
    I’m certain the actor bears in the movie were eating real fish in one scene.
    I’ve always wondered how those fish felt about that.

  14. Jr says:

    This man was the actually frontrunner at one point……Jesus.

  15. Scott O. says:

    I think I get it. Without the stimulus the goldfish would have scooped the water back into the tank and hoped back in and everything would be fine now.

  16. michael reynolds says:

    Those were stunt fish.

  17. Ernieyeball says:

    @michael reynolds: Close inspection of Herman’s attempt at cinema verite reveals 4 or 5 cuts. This could be several stunt fish Mr. Cain had to hire to satisfy the work rules of the Goldfish Guild.

  18. de stijl says:

    I’m actually kind of impressed – riffing off Faith No More’s Epic video.