ISIS Runs Its Own Help Desk

ISIS Fighters

ISIS apparently has a round-the-clock help desk for terrorists:

ISIS is using a 24-hour Jihadi Help Desk to help spread its message, recruit followers and launch more attacks on foreign soil, NBC News reports.

The help desk manned by a half-dozen senior operatives was established to help would-be jihadists use encryption and other secure communications to avoid detection by law enforcement and other agencies, counterterrorism analysts affiliated with the U.S. Army tell NBC News.

The new development has ramped up over the past year, according to law enforcement and intel officials. It allows a far wider web of militants to network with one another and plot attacks.

It’s a serious matter, of course, but like anyone who’s been forced to use a Help Desk, call Customer Service, or navigate my way through a phone tree using either push button commands or, worse, the voice response systems that many companies now seem to favor, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like. Do they outsource their help desk to Bangalore like American Express? What kind of hold music do they use? How long is the hold time?

This is an SNL skit waiting to happen, I tell you.

FILED UNDER: National Security, Terrorism, , , , , ,
Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.


  1. James Pearce says:

    It’s true: We’ve been cursed to live in interesting times.

    Also, Snowden.

  2. CSK says:

    Press 1 for instructions on building an IED.
    Press 2 for instructions on properly fitting a suicide vest
    Press 3 for beheading video
    Press 4 to remotely detonate suitcase bomb
    Press 5 to order grenade launchers
    Please hold to rant to a customer service jihadist

    Allahu akbar, and have a great day!

  3. KM says:

    I can’t help but wonder what it’s like

    Can you imagine being on the other side of it? Working Help Desk was punishment in some companies I’ve worked for, rotating people in to deal with the IT horrors people inflict on themselves. One poor bastard had a script that started off with “Are you sure it’s turned on? Please doublecheck” and informed me a scary amount of people didn’t know how to do that!

    How many are going to rethink the viability of this concept after dealing with inept wannabes all day long? Maybe we can inflict some existential angst that there’s no true Jihadis, just some schmucks who keeps asking if its the blue or red wire they want all day long…..

  4. grumpy realist says:

    Considering that Anonymous (the hacker group) has declared action against ISIS….I wonder if one of their guys couldn’t somehow get into ISIS’s communication network and start doing things like this.

    If I had to navigate a multi-screen phone tree every time I needed to contact my superior, I’d probably start wanting to use those bombs against an entirely different target…

  5. Gustopher says:

    I wonder if this is really the FBI, trying to trap the ISIS terrorists foolish enough to call the help desk for support.

  6. bill says:

    maybe they could help the obamacare sites- they can’t be any worse.

  7. Grewgills says:


    How many are going to rethink the viability of this concept after dealing with inept wannabes all day long?

    As grumpy said, it would be great for this to be taken advantage of. Eat up their bandwidth and waste their time. How many times can a jihadi be rickrolled before he gives up.