OTB Caption Contest

Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM

Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM

Former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton greets people as she signs copies of her book "Hard Choices" at a Costco store in Arlington, Virginia
REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

Time again for my summer break (i.e. limited time and internet access). This will be the last contest for a few weeks. The Caption Contest will pick up again later in July.

Winners will be announced sometime before the next contest.

FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, ,
Rodney Dill
About Rodney Dill
Rodney is an IT Implementation Consultant in the Motor City and working within the Automotive Industry. He contributed to OTB from November 2004 until retiring in July 2017, hosting some 1200 OTB Caption Contests.


  1. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Would you like a free book too? How about 17? I bet we could fit 24 on this scooter if we tried really hard.

  2. OzarkHillbilly says:

    No, I don’t want a free book! I just want some Metamucil!

  3. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Oh yes, please, I’ll take as many as you like. Toilet paper is soooo expensive these days.

  4. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Say what? Hard Choices? No, I thought this was the line for hard-ons.

  5. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Where’s the buffet?

  6. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Secret Service Agent 1 to SS Agent 2: Welcome to Siberia.

  7. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Secret Service Agent 2 to SS Agent 1: What did I do that was so bad? Make a little Colombian whoopie! So what?

  8. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Secret Service Agent 1 to SS Agent 2: Keep an eye on this next one, could be a wheel chair bomb.

  9. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Secret Service Agent 2 to SS Agent 1: HEY! Wake up! It’s my turn for a nap.

  10. OzarkHillbilly says:

    Secret Service Agent 2 to SS Agent 1: Does somebody need their Depends changed, or does this job always stink?

  11. edmondo says:

    While Hillary was distracted trying to sell a book to anyone with $24.95 in their pocket, Bill was focused on the two brunettes in the background.

  12. John Burgess says:

    “Welcome to the newly-combined VA and ACA health center! Here’s a book that will fix all your problems. I had it ghost-written myself.”

  13. Tillman says:

    “Was it a hard choice to give up walking?”

  14. “We got here before 5. Where’s the Early Bird Special?”

  15. Hal_10000 says:

    Hillary Clinton enthusiastically greets the only two people who’ve actually managed to read her book.

  16. Tillman says:

    Edit: “Was it a Hard Choice™ to give up walking?”

    Secret Service Agent 1: “So, they’re saying she’s gonna be the next president?”
    SS Agent 2: “Doesn’t matter. President’s not the president anyway, you know that.”

  17. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Hal_10000: It wasn’t their fault. The cable was out and they couldn’t watch FOX News.

  18. al-Ameda says:

    “You’re old and White, you must be a Republican voter, right?”

  19. Tyrell says:

    “Does this place carry cigars?”

  20. Jay says:

    Hillary: I Was in a wheelchair too after I was shot on the tarmac in Bosnia

  21. He who must not be named says:

    Here’s my check for $200,000 Mrs. Clinton. Thanks for coming.

  22. He who must not be named says:

    I’m in room 415.

  23. He who must not be named says:

    I’m never washing this hand again. Oh, who am I kidding, I haven’t washed it for 30 years.

  24. He who must not be named says:

    More evidence that anyone who wants to be president this bad probably shouldn’t be.

  25. OzarkHillbilly says:

    @Tyrell: I think we have a winner.

  26. John425 says:

    Hillary: “No Lazarus, you won’t be able to walk unless you buy my book.”

    Hillary: “Yes, my book is included in your AARP health plan membership.”

  27. Franklin says:

    George: “You’ll never guess what happened!”
    Jerry: “You mugged Stephen Hawking?”

  28. rodney dill says:

    Woman on Right: “So what’s her Secret Service code name?”
    Agent: “Camel Toe”
    Woman on Right: “Look’s more like Moose Knuckle to me.”

  29. RockThisTown says:

    “Yes, I guarantee if you die before 2016, you can still vote for me.”

  30. PAUL HOOSON says:

    “This is Casey Kasem here, and next up at #38 is a crossover country hit by Travis Tritt, entitled “Wheelchair Rider”….”I’m a wheelchair rider…..And the wheels keep on rolling from town to town….Yeah, wheelchair rider…..town to town, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh…”

  31. Wrap it up, Hillary. My low battery light just came on.

  32. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy: “You know Mrs. Clinton, your health care plan never even got off the ground. And Obama’s only meant a lot of regulations and more taxes”.

    Clinton: “So what’s left?”

    Old Guy” “The Republican dental plan…….It’s called “CHEW ON THE OTHER SIDE”….”

  33. NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU, MR. HAWKING. Please, stop shouting. I’m neither deaf nor Mr. Hawking.

  34. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy : “Hello Mrs. Clinton, I’m a retired Democratic Party Chairman and I used to have lunch with my Republican Chairman friend a few years ago, and we used to talk shop. He used to tell me that when he rode a cab, he gave the driver a $100 tip and told the cab driver to tell all of his passengers” to vote Republican”. I told him, “That’s funny. I do something very similar”. I ride a cab, and never leave a tip…..Oh, and I told the cab driver “to vote Republican”.

  35. Hello, I’m Professor Xavier. And I’d like to talk to you about your husband’s ‘Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell’ mutant registration policy.

  36. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy: “I’ll take two. I’m buying as a gag gift for a couple of friends….”

  37. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Man: “What’s the name of your book?”


  38. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy: “Hello, your First Ladyshipness… I have a question. You know that “DOME” show on CBS?”

    Clinton: “Yes, I’m aware of it?”

    Old Guy: “Well, I wonder why they don’t dig a little trench underneath and crawl to the other side…”

  39. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy: “You know, the other day I saw the most offensive pornographic Website while surfing the Internet. Young women, barely college aged, doing the most filthy and vile obscene acts. Every filthy sexual act that you could ever imagine”.

    Clinton: “I’m sorry about that!”

    Old Guy: “Oh, no reason to feel sorry. Those girls on the Website were doing those acts to old guys in wheelchairs. It was one of the best things that I’ve ever seen”.

  40. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Guy: “It was so nice for you to take your books directly from your publisher to donate them here at the Goodwill!”

    Clinton: “Oh. I get a tax write-off, believe me…”

  41. RockThisTown says:

    “No, it’s not a cookbook, but I did cook the books at the Rose Law Firm.”

  42. He who must not be named says:

    You don’t remember me? I’m Billy Dale.

  43. He who must not be named says:

    Pretty good makeup job for James O’Keefe, don’t you think?

  44. He who must not be named says:


  45. Mark Ryan says:

    “You run over my foot kid and I’ll smash you so hard, you’ll look like my husbands stain on Monica’s dress. Here, have a book!”

  46. Mark Ryan says:

    Hillary: “Here you go.”
    Kid: “Who the hell are you?”

  47. rodney dill says:

    “No, there will not be any f****** pudding.”

  48. Tyrell says:

    “I’m looking for the non-fiction section”

  49. He who must not be named says:

    Oh my, did I take the red pill or the blue pill this morning?

  50. He who must not be named says:

    Was it a hard choice when you picked out that color pantsuit this morning?

  51. He who must not be named says:

    Just make sure you keep that trouble maker Nakoula Basseley Nakoula locked up.

  52. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Man: “Hello, Mrs. Clinton. Mick Jagger here with my girlfriend. We’re in town for a book signing too!”

  53. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Man: “Hello Mrs. Clinton. I’m Mickey Dolenz from The Monkees……I remember that terrible news when I rang the bell over at Davy Jones home. His wife told me that he just passed away. I didn’t believe it! Then, I saw her face…..Now, I’m a bereaver”.

  54. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Man: “Mrs. Clinton, did your hear that actor Eli Wallach died?”

    Clinton: “He played Mr.Freeze on the old BATMAN series”.

    Old Man: “I hope Paul Hooson doesn’t joke that. That would be cold!”

  55. PAUL HOOSON says:

    Old Wheelchair Guy: “This is actually a carry-over theme from last week. I’m a Transformer, Hiram, the elderly and arthritic Jew”.

  56. jd says:

    The Secret Service agents amused themselves all day making “Book ’em, Danno” jokes.

  57. John425 says:

    Hillary: “Please buy my book. I need the money.”

  58. He who must not be named says:

    Help, I’ve fallen in the polls and I can’t get up.

  59. He who must not be named says:

    My name is Christopher Pike. Are you Vina?

  60. drmrs says:

    Yes, you can be invited to the White House if you buy enough books, and I am elected President. drmrs 6/29/2014 Rockville, MD