Supreme Being Hedging Bets In Race For 2012 GOP Nomination
Dan Amira reports that several Republican candidates have claimed to have the backing of God in their campaign for the Presidency.
Herman Cain, for example, has apparently received his supernatural endorsement via text message:
Michelle Bachmann got her calling via a more traditional means.
Rick Santorum says the message came via his heart, which, of course, is the same method that Mike Huckabee used to determine he shouldn’t run.
Amira concludes:
God could not be reached for comment by press time, because, a spokesman says, he was helping a baseball player hit a game-winning home run, giving an old churchgoing lady the winning lottery numbers, making sure that a plane made it through the turbulence okay, helping someone survive a heart attack, and also, just for fun, creating a new animal that’s like a cross between a leopard and an alligator.
No word on who any other deities, lesser gods, demons, saints, or sinners may be supporting.
God is definitely busy these days.
“In great contests each party claims to act in accordance with the will of God. Both may be, and one must be wrong. God cannot be for, and against the same thing at the same time.” -Abraham Lincoln
As an atheist, I would be happy to contribute to a DNC campaign to tell everyone who believes in God what idiots that truly are.
May I suggest saturation ads featuring all the top democrats and the 2012 candidates looking into the camera saying “You people are really stupid”?
I think it would work well.
This reminds me of the SNL sketch of a lumberjack competition (I think) where they interview the winner first, and he promptly thanks Jesus for helping him out. They then interview the losers and they accuse the winner of hogging jesus all the time, and that they don’t see how they could be expected to win with the winner always having jesus helping him out.
Man, that was funny.
Everyone knows Rick Perry is God’s candidate. Well…everyone knows except Bachmann, Santorum and Cain.
Ben,
http://www.garymarks.com/video/Lumberjack.Classic/Lumberjack.Classic.htm
And it is quite hilarious.
@jwest
What does the post have to do with Democrats, and have you considered treatment for your obsessive-compulsive behaviors?