All Of The Turkeys Obama Has Pardoned Are Dead
U.S. News & World Report informs us that every turkey that President Obama has pardoned is dead:
It’s that time of the year again folks, when two lucky turkeys come to Washington, spend time at a swanky hotel, get some facetime with President Obama at the White House, before spending the rest of their days at a historic Virginia farm.
But those days are always short.
Gobbler and Cobbler – last year’s set of turkeys who attended the annual Presidential Turkey Pardon – have both died, Whispers has learned. Gobbler, Cobbler’s understudy, died in February. “Gobbler passed away suddenly. It was very quick. We don’t know what the illness was,” Rebecca Aloisi, vice president for marketing at Mount Vernon, where the turkeys went after their 15 minutes of fame at the official ceremony in 2012, told Whispers back in April.
Cobbler, 2012’s official pardoned turkey, lived through the summer and was euthanized on Aug. 22. (The turkeys always come to Washington in pairs, and while one attends the pardoning ceremony, both get to live.)
Liberty, a turkey from 2011, had the longest lifespan of the crop, living to the ripe old age of 2, before being euthanized on April 26, due to heart failure. All three turkeys were meant for consumption before they were spared, and thus cursed with a bevvy of health problems related to obesity.
The same thing appears to have happened to the turkeys pardoned in 2009 and 2010. Of course, before they go, these turkeys do get a taste of the high life:
Once the two lucky turkeys arrive in Washington they’ll be put up in the Willard Hotel. They will meet the press on Nov. 26 at a special ceremony before being taken to the White House the following day for the big gig. Afterward, they, too, will spend time at Mount Vernon until Jan. 6. But this year the turkeys will live out the rest of their (inevitably) short lives at another historic Virginia residence, Morven Park.
Where they’ll likely be dead inside of a year. But at least they won’t be the guest of honor at someone’s table next Thursday, eh?
H/T: Naked DC
Won’t John McCain be pissed that another turkey replaced him?
Turkeys associated with Obama are dropping like flies! Darryl Issa needs to investigate!
Ben-gizzard!
Not surprised at all. Turkeys bred for raising on a farm are monstrosities. Wild turkeys also taste better then the farm grown breed.
Maybe he’ll pardon HealthCare.gov
IMPEACH!
Not to worry, Holder and Sebelius will be around until 2017
!!!! So, President Bartlet really didn’t need to draft that second turkey to save him?
And THIS is why we need ObamaCare. Had it been fully implemented, those turkeys would still be alive today. Their blood is on Republicans’ hands.
If ObamaCare had been fully implemented, the turkeys would still be alive. The humans would have spent all day on Thanksgiving waiting for the website to go back up and had to eat a sandwich instead.
That magic touch!
Some executives have the royal touch; some have the opposite.
A crime most fowl.
Not a surprise – they died of old age. Industrial turkeys are bred to get big really fast not to live along time.
I can think of one Turkey in DC that I wish had passed this year.
@Ron Beasley: Unfortunately the political variety of turkeys seem to last and last and last.
@upvoters: You should be ashamed of yourselves. I was ashamed two seconds after posting it.
I wonder how homeless and hungry people in Washington DC feel about food being put up in a hotel and pardoned.
Why not for Thanksgiving put a homeless person up for the night in that hotel room, and give them the turkey.
@Nick: Yeah, let’s get rid of all the hypocritical practices in our government that reflect poorly on the reality of life in our country.
Wait, where did half the Democratic party and the entire Republican party go?