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Britain Seeks Ban On Pint Glasses

pint-glass-chelseaAs part of their ongoing effort to cement George Orwell’s reputation by making him the most accurate prophet in history, the British Home Office is now investigating the possiblity of forcing every Pub in Britain to replace pint glasses with plastic pint cups:

The BBC reported recently that the British Home Office is seeking a new design for pint glasses that it hopes may reduce the number of incidents in which people attack each other with pint glasses. According to official statistics, 5,500 people are attacked with glasses and bottles every year in England and Wales. (Probably lots more in Scotland, though maybe they just use swords.) This public safety emergency has spurred the government into action, seeking a design that cannot be used as a weapon.

Designers say they are considering two basic approaches: (1) plastic, or (2) something else. First, glasses could be made from plastic, or could be coated with it so that the glass would not shatter into sharp pieces if broken. Second, “[w]e could do something more radical,” said one designer, “by looking at the whole shape and substance of the pint – we could come up with something that is completely different [from] glass.” Seems a lot like the first approach, and it wasn’t clear what he had in mind. But he continued: “Remember that years ago people used to drink out of pewter tankards. It could be quite a significant paradigm shift.” That’s a great idea – I’d much rather be clubbed to death with a pewter tankard.

As Cory Doctorow notes, this is an essential piece of legislation

Because, you know, most bar-brawlers are fundamentally upset at the pint, not the people around them, and if they can’t smash a pint sleeve, they will contain their anger and not use a chair, bottle, or imposing scarred forehead.

Indeed.

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About Alex Knapp
Alex Knapp writes about pretty much everything under the sun, including politics, art, religion, philosophy, sports, music, culture, and science.

Comments

  1. yetanotherjohn says:

    Next thing you know, in Texas they won’t let us kill some one who “needed killin’”

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  2. John Burgess says:

    Paper tubes, lined with plastic! Hardly dangerous, but their disposal may prove an insuperable problem.

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  3. mpw280 says:

    No guns, no knives, no pints NO SENSE. When are the brits going to toss the nannys out on their tails and take back their lives. mpw

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  4. What if he’s got a pointed stick?

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  5. Matt says:

    WEll I guess this is a natural step considering they are already producing “stab proof” steak knives…

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