Mr. Yummy Whips Mr. Whippy

Today’s big scoop: When ice cream men attack:

Children and parents watched in horror as one seller, Zeheer Ramzan, smashed the window of the other’s van with a tyre lever. A second seller, Mohammed Mulla, then apparently rammed his van into the rear of the other.

John Tighe, 55, said: “It all came down to a turf war. “One was offering four, two scoop cones with a flake for £2 and the other said he would do them all for 10p cheaper. “I couldn’t believe it when Mr Yummy jumped out of his van and smashed Mr Whippy’s window, you just don’t expect that around here.

I assume each was driven mad by the other’s calliope.

Dodd Harris
About Dodd Harris
Dodd, who used to run a blog named ipse dixit, is an attorney, a veteran of the United States Navy, and a fairly good poker player. He contributed over 650 pieces to OTB between May 2007 and September 2013. Follow him on Twitter @Amuk3.


  1. “The old grey mare, she ain’t what she used to be,
    Ain’t what she used to be
    Ain’t what she used to be
    The old grey mare, she ain’t what she used to be,
    Many long years ago!”


  2. Jeremy says:

    I am a very bad man, having seen the title and thinking it was something far, far dirtier.

  3. Franklin says:

    I assumed it was characters from the Roger Hargreaves’ children’s book series called Mr. Men. So unlike Jeremy, I thought it was something far, far cleaner.