OTB Caption Contest
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
REUTERS/Jason Reed
Winners will be announced Thursday
REUTERS/Jason Reed
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday
“Hey don’t tell anyone, but I’m killing bin Laden tomorrow.”
And when I kicked in the door, I grabbed Bin Laden like this……….and I gave him…after I…and then I…wooo…I was….I”m telling you… I……
So uh Michelle. How much do you bench press?
I once caught a fish this big.
It’s true – my dick is twice as long as that white guy hitting on Michelle.
Yeah, the moats and alligator lines worked just great!
Michelle: “Who put the flowers on the table? I specifically said VEGETABLES!”
That’s a good question…..you see….when I’m around women and my hands are open….lets just say, I should keep them closed…..
Did you all see how Trump’s hair went all wild when we hit him with the birther jokes?
MIchelle: Hulk MAD!!!
Uh, Mrs. Obama I’m a guest, not a waiter.
I said I wanted a glass of wine and…I. WANT. IT. NOW!
……Red or white mam?
Michelle thought bubble: Why is Bronson Pinchot at this table?
Obama: “…and then the IMF guy chases her down the hall!”
Michelle: I KAN HAZ CHEZBRGR?
“Stop me if you heard this one before. But I don’t think you have. Not yet: You see, these Navy SEALs enter a compound in Pakistan…”
“No. It’s not just an expression. Seriously, I could tell you, but I would have to kill you.”
“So I get to the punch line, right? I look up from the podium, out into the audience and guess who’s staring right at me?”
“Forgive me for saying so, Mrs. Obama. But your arms are more spectacular in person than on TV.”
“Yeah, so I get the invitation and guest list in the mail and instantly think: ‘Huh, so the White House is roasting the Donald…Sweet!”
“Yeah, I thought about pulling the same gag Bush W. did. You know the one where he’s looking for WMDs? Only in my version, I was going to use Osama bin Laden. But then something, um, came up.”
“Well, you know. The material practically writes itself. Especially when it’s about stupid old white men who can’t jump.”
“As a rule, I try to say away from stereotypes. Especially minorities like stupid old white men who can’t jump.”
“Yes, I was a bit apprehensive telling that joke about the Birthers being racists. But only because your husband is half white, and I wasn’t sure how his other half would take it.”
“Yes, I was a bit apprehensive telling that joke about the Birthers being racists. But only because your husband is half black, and I wasn’t sure how his other half would take it.”