Monday, February 27, 2006
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Winners will be announced Thursday PM
In later life, Phyllis Diller found her calling in promoting soccer.
Boy George has finally done it: gone Girl George.
In order to present a more contemporary image and increase viewer interest, NBC updated its peacock logo.
(gasp) “Oh my God, what a monster! Look me up later, buddy, and I’ll rock your world!”
Proof again that, despite major material advances, medical science has yet to produce ones that Â“feel realÂ”.
Hilary for President!
Those aren’t the only balls “she” has.
And in New Orleans today, Magnolia Gumbo said, “This is not a costume, honey. I’s just going to work as Nagin’s outspoken token.”
Lost scene from Scooby Doo 3.
Hillary Clinton after being unmasked: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids and their dog.
Ugh…this is the last time I drink peppermint schnapps at Mardi-Gras.
I got yer Soccer Hooligans right here bub!
Sen. Feinstein learns of the DPW ports deal.
“Jo Ann Worley is my Mother!”
” One more chicken joke and I’ll peck your eyes out!”
Now bring on those boys from the 82nd Airborne!
About 70 protesters were arrested in San Francisco after rioting over the publication of unflattering cartoons depicting a drugged and boozed-out Judy Garland resulted in the burning down of a MenÂ’s Warehouse, two NAPA Auto Parts outlets and a BassPro Shop. Many protesters carried signs reading: Â“A really bad hair day to the blasphemous artists!Â” and Â“Damn your silly old punk, country & hip-hop freedoms! Showtunes will rule America!Â”
In an effort to appear more sane, Al Gore gets another makeover.
What the hell are all you people staring at?
This is what happens when you accidentally see Helen Thomas naked.
* A scene from “Mad Max IV: WAAAYYYY beyond Thunderdome”
* A typical night at the singles bar in SanFrancisco
* Kinky Freidman’s running mate
* (nod to Trek: “Zephram. We frighten you. We never frightened you before.”
* Signs this may not be where you want to work #42: This is your new boss.
* (nod to Python) You don’ frighten us, English pig-dogs!
* WHAT costume?
* It was announced today that animal Rights advocate Emma Fraide would be the keynote speaker at the Democratic National convention in 2008. When asked why it took so long for her to be invited to speak, she responded “Well, I guess they had to get the real wierdos to speak first.”
* The testing of the new Windows Operating system was not going well.
* Yeah, that’s his real hair, why?
Fourteen were wounded, none seriously, after a truck driver hauling sporting goods careened into a local beauty supply store.
Somehow, I just don’t think that the democrat’s efforts to connect with “soccer moms” is going to hit the mark.
“Bye-bye Miss American Pie…”
“That’s right Mr. Cheney I’m the one that got away!”
“Hey bird dog your on the wrong trail!”
Why no they didn’t like me during the audition for the new Bic Fusion razor for (garbled), I don’t know why.
You should see what I dressed my teeth up as.
Why yes I do believe I’ve broken every fashion law. I’ve got stars with stripes with pentagons and I’ve even got plaids (but you can’t see those I’m not that kind of girl).
Despite her attempt at revitalizing her image to attract the younger demographic, Elizabeth Dole once again failed to achieve the Republican nomination.
“You’re goin’ down Blackwell”
Tonya Harding returns to the ice.
Luke! *I* am your FATHER!!!!
Good one, Bithead!
Gene Simmons of Kiss puts the shock back into rock, changing his persona from “The Demon” to “The Deva”. Fan response has been…mixed.
Â“You want me to give up WHAT for lent?Â”
Why they hate us.
Phyllis Diller encounters the mother of all Van der Graff generators.
Cindy Sheehan brings her Bush Derangement Syndrome World Tour to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.
Strange that she hasn’t yet acquired a single strand of beads.
White Chocolate City.
Let’s face it, time has not been kind to the girl from Ipanema.
Peter Allen flashbacks can be downright scary.
The next Bond villain: “Scaramangal”
“Tut, tut, tut, dearie. You can kick ’em or give ’em a header but no illegal use of the hands.”
So that’s where cotton candy comes from.
Howard Dean: The Musical!
Don’t take the brown acid? …… Now you tell me.
In the privacy of his own home, Rodney Dill would take on new persona’s before judging the OTB Caption Contests.
Ken comes out of the closet…
“Hey Sailor, wanna see my World Cup?”
Yeah, sure, we all crack wise about Hillary’s brass, occasionally peeking out from under skirt. Yet no one ever talks about her inner child.
Just then Mayor Nagin screamed, “GOOOOAAALLL!”
Somehow the SMILF’s web site just never caught on.
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