Monday, August 5, 2013
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
For the last time, your Holiness, this is not the Macarena.
“So here’s the joke. You, you, and me walk into a bar….”
You put your left hand, you put your left hand out …
“With all due respect, Messi – not Neymar – is God.”
“Such simple headdress. Truly a backwards and stunted people.”
Nine out of ten critics agreed it looked better on Johnny Depp.
Pope: ” I come from one who is greater than the Cargo Cult gods.”
Pope: “These are people that I definitely do not want to tell about the “This is my body and this is my blood” homily.”
The gods must think I’m crazy.
It’s daddy….It’s mammy….It’s the great white spook…..
Man in the audience to his friend: “Gee, I’m not so sure about some of these changes in the church with this new guy in charge….”.
One priest to another: “Call me old fashioned, but I miss the old days of just plain simple sex abuse….”.
Pope: “So that’s how that Special Head guy does that levitation trick on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT…”.
Pope: “I only know one joke about your people. A native islander has a hut fire. The first thing he rescues are the shrunken heads…”.
Pope: ” I used to love Hawaii, then all of the God damn Mormons and Japanese bought up everything…”.
Pope: ” I used to love Hawaii, then all of the damn Mormons and Japanese bought up everything…”.
Pope: “So we have an agreement?…You’ll only spear the Protestant missionaries from now on…”.
Pope: “You wife doesn’t look like she’s missing any meals? So what happened to those Catholic missionaries I sent down to your neck of the woods?”
Pope: ” Spearing people….Head hunting….Using poison dart blowguns….Making shrunken heads…..You guys need to specialize in just one thing, and do it better than anybody else if you want to be a success these days…”.
“According to our ancestors, someday a not so great white joke teller will come and make mirth and merriment about our people, but it won’t be very good… His name….Paul Hooson…”.
Man in audience to his friend: “Those new priest and nun uniforms suck. What’s this pope thinking?’
Ok, let me try to pronounce that again “Humuhumunukunukuapua`a”
Yes, too bad. You could warn them… if only you spoke Hovitos!
Pope: On Fridays, you should only eat fishermen.
What a coincidence, in my faith tradition we also eat the body and drink the blood, metaphorically, of course.
Stay spiritually thirsty, my friend.
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